Happy Yom Kippur

Beginning sundown yesterday (because Jewish days start at night) and going through today is the celebration of Yom Kippur, the Day of Atonement. On this special day, the high priest would go into the Holy of Holies and sprinkle the blood of the sacrifice on the mercy seat for the sins of the people. Today, Yom Kippur is still celebrated by Jews. I don't know if this is true for every Yom Kippur, but I found it interesting that it was on 9.22. For Hebrews 9:22 says, "In fact, the law requires that nearly everything be cleansed with blood, and without the shedding of blood there is no forgiveness." Later in verse 28, it explains how Christ shed his blood for our sins. The book Hebrews spends a lot of time explaining how Christ is our high priest. Jesus Christ, the high priest, entered heaven, a holy sanctuary, and presented the blood sacrifice, not of animal, but His own perfect blood. Hebrews 9:26 tells us this is why we don't have animal sacrifices. So even though we're not Jewish, let us hold Yom Kippur as almost like a 2nd Good Friday, a day we remember what our Savior did to pay for our sins.

Present day Jonah

Yesterday during chapel, the speaker preacher from Jonah. He was giving us present day application. As I read through Jonah, God truly did show me how to apply it today, but maybe not in the same way.

For those of you who aren't too familiar with the story of Jonah, I'll recap. If you really don't know the final details, go read the story of Jonah out the Bible. If you need a refresher, I'll give you a summary (any italics is a direct quote out of Jonah). Jonah, a prophet, gets Word from God. “Go to the great city of Nineveh and preach against it, because its wickedness has come up before me” (Jonah 1:2). Jonah, not wanting to go to Ninevah, decides to go to Tarshish, in the opposite direction. While on board the boat, God causes a storm to happen. All the sailors are trying to figure out whose fault it is, and Jonah comes forth. When they throw him over, the Lord provided a great fish to swallow Jonah, and Jonah was inside the fish three days and three nights (Jonah 1:17). During this time in the stomach of the great fish (not whale), Jonah realizes that truth about salvation. He prays to God, “Those who cling to worthless idols forfeit the grace that could be theirs. But I, with a song of thanksgiving, will sacrifice to you. What I have vowed I will make good. Salvation comes from the Lord” (Jonah 2:8,9) God believes Jonah learns his lesson and the fish vomits him onto dry land. Once again, the word of the Lord came to Jonah a second time: “Go to the great city of Nineveh and proclaim to it the message I give you" (Jonah 3:1,2). This time Jonah is smart and does exactly that. He spends 3 days in Ninevah preaching against the city. The city repents from their sin. God is satisfied, and spares Ninevah, but not Jonah is not. He wanted to see a show of brimestone and fire. The title of the 4th chapter is a accurate portrayal: Jonah is angry and God's compassion. Jonah expression his displeasement with God. He prayed to the Lord, “O Lord, is this not what I said when I was still at home? That is why I was so quick to flee to Tarshish. I knew that you are a gracious and compassionate God, slow to anger and abounding in love, a God who relents from sending calamity. Now, O Lord, take away my life, for it is better for me to die than to live” (Jonah 4:2,3). The story with debating between Jonah and God, but the story ends the same way the 4th chapter begins, with Jonah mad at God.It is a really sad ending. The main character, despite doing a wonderful thing, is upset. Veggie Tales's Jonah states it well, "Jonah was a prophet, who never really got it....he did not get the point."

There might be some things you might need to understand when you look at the story of Jonah. Jonah was a prophet during the time that Israel was under Assyrian captivity. The people of Israel were not happy that the Assyrians invaded the land. Israel hated them with a passion. They probably hated them so much for many reasons. The Assyrians settled in Israel's land. The male assyrian soldiers forced the Israelite women to marry them and have their children. Other sources say that the Assyrians were so cruel, they would cut off the lips of their captors. All of these, and probably much more, might just be the wickedness God was talking about. Ninevah was the capital of Assyria. So Jonah was pretty much told to go to the capital city of his captors, and preach against them. Big step up.

Question: If Ninevah was around today, where would it be on today's politcal map?Answer: IraqFact: Iraq (the country the U.S. invade) and Iran (always rumors that's the next country) are the remnants of the Assyrian empire.

History does repeat itself. Sure enough, Iraq is capable for a lot wickedness. Genocide, terrorism, sexism, violence, and all under the name of a false god. I think if we listened closely to God, he would be telling us the same thing. "Go to the Iraq city of Baghdad (or Fallujah) and preach against it, because it's wickedness has come up before Me." And just like Jonah, we go the opposite way. We rather be enjoying ourselves preaching at a place that also has resorts, like the Carribean or Polynesian Islands, where we can enjoy ourselves on break instead of a desert area. What do we do? We send our soliders over there to blow their heads off. That seems more of an easier solution to us. It's like we think, "Eeww, terrorist. I'm not talking to them about the gospel. They can just die and go to hell for all I care." Maybe we need to be swallowed by a big fish for 3 days and 3 nights for us to realize what Jonah needed to realize. Salvation is for everyone, including the Iraqis. Why do you think these people are committing such attrocities? It is because they are lost in their sin, and need the Lord Jesus to save them from their sin. God warns us that he will not take pity on us based on the way we leave earth. How can a Christian shoot at a man that he knows is lost in his sin, thus damning him to hell? I pray that if someone hears the call to bring the Word of God to Iraq, and will go, not considering the war there. But I hope the American people will end up just like Jonah ended up. When we hear that God has spared the people of Iraq, are we going to be peeved like Jonah? Are we going to cry out to the Lord, "What?! You saved them?! After all the wicked sins they committed, and you're going to let them into heaven? I have to now go to church and love him?! How dare you hold back your wrath and show loving mercy, God! I rather die than have to accept an Iraqi terrorist!!" That is not the way! Remember the parable of the workers. God offers everyone salvation, no matter what they did or when they receive. If we want the war to end, let's go to Iraq with a stronger weapon, stronger than any gun or tank. That is, the Word of God. What if someone dies in the process of delievering the gospel? I call them a martyr. If we give so much praise to soldiers who are dying because they are causing other people to die, shouldn't we uplift even more the person who died trying to give the unsaved eternal life? The Lord tells us to send workers into the field for harvest, and I pray for those to be called to harvest the Christian in Iraq. We just may be the only sign from God they get, "the sign of Jonah."

Dating inventory

Part of LBC's freshman schedule is to take a course called "college success" or as we know it by, College Suckess. Once a week, I have to go to an hour "seminar" and take notes, get homework assignments, take no test or quizzes, and it's only worth one credit. These classes are usually on how to learn and study at college, but there has been a few others, like learning about relationships. And whenever the topic of relationships comes up, it's only a matter of time before dating is mentioned. So the homework assignment was a 16 question "relationship inventory" on dating. It took me a lot of thinking and a lot of time. Just yesterday I handed it in (the due date). But the end result I am very happy with. So here's my answers, check it out, and see what you would say to these questions

1. Do you want to get married? Why do you want to get married?

I am a follower of God. As being a follower of God, I believe that growing to be more like Him means also making my will be the same as His. I want to do what God wants me to do. So if getting married is in God’s plan for me, God will give me my wife and I will marry her. If God does not plan for me to be married, I will live out my life being single. If it was completely up to me, I think I would like to get married. I think it would be trivial to date girls or even like girls if there was no end result of marriage. I would really like that special love and companionship only a spouse could give me. Once again, as I stated above, my life’s place is surrendered to the Lord, it is completely up to Him. If He calls me to be single, so be it. The Lord God’s unconditional love is enough for me.

2. Why would someone want to marry you?

This is a question that took a lot of thought. It got me stumped a couple of times. After thinking it through with some consultation, I’ve think I’ve formulated an answer. I got hung up on this question because when thinking about it, I was only looking at worldly attributes. I will outwardly tell you, I am not attractive to the eyes, not athletic or fit, not musical in any sense, nor artistic in any sense. My sense of humor is dry slap-stick (I like Monty Python. Enough said.) With exception to a few topics, I’m not really a genius. I’m not too rich either. What would a girl find in me? This worldly view can be depressing because it looks like no woman would ever find something in me. But when I leave this worldly view, I realized how special God has made me, and if God made me to have a wife, He gave me something that would catch her attention.
I am Christian, blessed by the Father, saved by the Son, full of the Holy Spirit. If any girl is a good Christian girl who believes the same as I do, she would agree with me when I say it is right for Christians to marry other Christians. She can know I am Christian who will help her grow in her relationship with Christ. But that does seem to me something every Christian should want in a man, and even the phrase “Christian man” is broad. It could cover a whole range of men. I am deeply into the Scriptures. My heart’s desire is to get to know The Lord better by knowing The Word better. I accept The Word as God-breathed, inerrant truth, and I am sound in my Biblical beliefs, never doubting anything. I comprehend what the Bible is telling me and I apply it to my life the best I can. I enjoy sharing my knowledge to anyone who asks and also enjoy discussions and debates on Biblical interpretation. One of the ways I use my spiritual gift of knowledge is by participating in Bible Quizzing, which I am highly ranked in and very passionate about. I also use for teaching Bible lessons and Bible studies. This is who I am. I’m not sure if this is anything that would make a girl love a guy, but hey, anything is possible with God. Girls can either take it or leave it.
I can’t tell you this as fact because it has never happened, but I think girls may want to marry me based on that I feel like I would be a good husband. I could supply for my wife in so many ways. First and foremost, I would give her so much love. I would show her in many ways many times over how much I love her. Second, I would be a provider for her, in both material things and non-materialistic things, I will give her what she needs. I would also always be there with her. I am a good listener and would always listen to her, whether it is good news or bad news, fact or opinion, intellectual or emotional. Being there for her is important. I will rejoice with her when she is happy, and be in pain with her when she is sad. Whatever problems she encounters, I will help her through all longsuffering. Finally, I am a very understand guy. I may not always agree with what my wife thinks or believes, but I will listen with an open mind and understand where she is coming from, and not let a disagreement separate us.

3. What is it that you are looking for in a spouse?

When choosing a girl to my girlfriend and future spouse, it pretty much comes down to two points. First, she needs to be Christian, which needs to be evenly yoked. I understand “evenly yoked” beyond both being believers. We have to be evenly yoked in the sense both of us are Christian. We have to be evenly yoked in spiritual maturity as well. If a newborn Christian marries someone who has been Christian for most of his life, it is one-sided. It would be great for the newborn Christian because he or she would grow tremendously from the spouse, but the spouse would get nowhere. It would not be a good idea for me to marry a newborn Christian. I would need someone on my level, a girl who I can discuss theology and doctrine with, a girl who will understand the big Biblical words I use in my speech. Uneven yoking can also happen when there is a different calling. If the guy is called to do urban ministry in the local city and the girl has been called to work in a third world country, it will not work out. Right now, this is not a problem for me since I do not know my full calling after college yet, so I’m somewhat flexible, which might be perfect for a woman who knows what she is going to do. Lastly, uneven yoking can happen with denomination and worship styles. Neither of those are really a problem for me. I am Mennonite, but I found out I can be Mennonite in any church, whether it be Baptist, Lutheran, U.C.C., Presbyterian, or non-denominational. Now in extreme cases, like difference views of salvation, might arise a problem of uneven yoking. Thinking in future tenses, it would be hard raising children where dad believes he saved by grace, and mom believes she is saved by her good deeds. That would cause problems, but minor things, like translation of the Bible, gender pronouns in the Bible or validity of spiritual gifts, it’s not going to be a problem.
The second thing I would look for in a girl to be the future Mrs. Holcomb is something I find simple and obvious. The woman needs to love me for who I am. I want a lady who can seriously and sincerely tell me, “Don’t change” because they like me for who I am. It doesn’t matter if they love me for who I am because we are similar or because we are different and she likes the differences she doesn’t have; I am fine with either. Pretty much, it comes down to finding someone who is ecstatic to be around me because I am Graham Holcomb. I think that is good for any kind of relationship. A relationship should be two people who like the other one for who they are. They should be no change in any person just for someone of the opposite sex. If there is change, it should be minimal, and still preserve the personality and the character of both people. If not, the relationship is not real, it is just a dream of what we’d like the person to be like, and most likely, the person who had to radically change is not happy. Besides these two points, I am very lenient.

4. What is the difference between a friendship and a committed serious relationship? How will you know the difference?

A committed relationship is considered serious when the relationship becomes more exclusive. In a friendship, the two are still available, while in the dating relationship, both people are considered taken. It is not right for the guy or girl to be flirting with the opposite gender anymore. In a serious committed relationship, dates are now solo instead of in groups. The boy and girl spend more time with each other than with normal friends of the opposite gender. I believe the start of this begins with either a date or a discussion agreeing to enter a deeper relationship. The relationship becomes serious and committed with maturity

5. Are you presently single? Why?

Yes, I am single. It has nothing to do with personal preferences. I feel like I have grown enough to be in a mature relationship. The reason I am single is because six girls I have asked out have all declined. The seventh girl did say yes, but a month later she ended the relationship, due to confusing reasons. That was over a year ago. I haven’t tried again since then because it is not a top priority in my life to have a girlfriend. My top priority is centering around God and His will for my life. Part of that is being encompassed by God’s love, and that unconditional love is sufficient for me. All other love is extra (but hey, who doesn’t want extra?). When being in a relationship is part of God’s plan for my life, if that is ever, then I will no longer be single.

6. Are you dating? Why?

No. Because I am single. Once again, as I stated above, I do feel like I am ready to date. It’s just not in God’s plan for my life right now, and it’s possibly because God has not revealed to me who this special lady is.

7. When is a good time to get married?

I am not sure if everyone believes the same that I do when it comes to a right time in being married, but this is how I feel. I have some personal convictions. I don’t think when to get married is a question of age, but of maturity. Both the man and the woman in the relationship need to be grown up and mature. Not only do the people in the relationship need to be mature, but the relationship itself needs to be mature. If I had to say time wise, I think a dating relationship should be between 1 ½ to 2 years long.
The couple also needs to be ready in other ways, as in living arrangements and finances. As for me personally, I want to know I can support my family to the fullest. If I am going to get married, I am going to want to have support two people. So I want to finish my education (which I plan to get a Ph. D) first, get a sound job, have some place to live in that my wife could live in as well (parents’ house does not count), have a car for transportation, have a church, and most importantly, have an income that can pay for the lives of two people. By doing this, I am not giving permission for my wife to be lazy but rather giving her more options to do with her life so that she is not constrained by income. She can do whatever job she wants to do and not have to decide on it based on the money she would be making. She could even work for the church, missions, or any kind of voluntary, non-profit organization and that would be fine because I could afford to do that with my paycheck. If we were to have kids, my wife might want to be a stay at home mother for the early years, and once the kids became old enough, she might want to homeschool them. That would be okay, too, because I would know I could afford that. The reason is that in the second half of my life, I grew up with my mom thinking she had to have a job because dad working wasn’t enough. I don’t want my wife to think that.

8. What turns you off in a person of the opposite sex?

I believe in Ecclesiastes 3 strongly. There is a time and place for everything. One of my biggest pet peeves would have to be when someone does not know when is the right place and time. I would not want a girl who couldn’t distinguish the right time in place. The biggest place I notice this is when to be serious or not. I would not like a girl who is serious when everyone else is laughing and having a fun time, but at the same time I can’t stand it when during a serious time a girl would not be serious. I wouldn’t like a girl who’s obsessed with her cell phone. There’s a time to turn it off and talk to the people around you. I’m not too picky with looks, and so I would be turned off by a girl who is, whether it be how her body looks or how her clothes look on her. A little of this is okay, but obsessed with it is too far.

9. What turns you off in a person of the same sex?

The fact that a person is a guy is what turns me off. Since this is a dating survey, I’m going to assume this is a question about homosexuality. In 2004 movie Mean Girls, a quote comes out of homeschool religious boy’s mouth that says, “And on the third day, God created the Remington bolt-action rifle, so that Man could fight the dinosaurs, and the homosexuals.” This quote is obviously a joke to us true Christians, but God did establish heterosexuality as far back as creation. Genesis 2:18 states, “The Lord God said, ‘It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him’.” This is when God made woman. Notice how God, when noticing man was alone, did not make his helper another man. He made woman. In the beginning, God intended for marriage to be between a man and women. Even in our bodily design, it was God’s intent for us to be attractive the opposite sex, not the same one. Many other times does God remind His people that homosexuality is a thing of a sinful world. Such evidence can be found in Leviticus 18:22. Being a follower of Christ, I reject this sinful practice.

10. Describe the “ideal marriage.” When does a couple begin working towards it?

An ideal marriage to me is a marriage that is near perfect. Let’s face it, there’s no such thing as perfect in this sinful world, and that includes marriage. In an ideal marriage, love is always present, no matter what trials come. The love should also be near unconditional. Most likely it won’t be perfectly unconditional like God’s love, but the love should not stop due to slight turbulence in the relationship. When the trials do come, the couple should work together to stay strong. When conflict arises, the couple must work things out. In an ideal marriage, both are able to grow spiritually off each other. In an ideal marriage, communication is key. Both people must be fully open and not be keeping secrets on anything, especially how they feel.
The path towards ideal marriage beings with dating, as soon as the first date. I believe dating is trivial if there is no end goal, that goal being marriage. The whole dating process should be pointing towards marriage, to see if this special person is the right one to be your spouse for life. If things don’t work out, it means that this person was not the right one, but if the two have been dating for a long while and their relationship is growing and thriving, and a real strong bond is happening between the two, they are on the path for an ideal marriage and are ready to be married.

11. What pressure do you feel are on you to get into a relationship?

I do feel pressure to get into a relationship with a girl. Even from my family, both nuclear and extended this pressure can be strong. I saw this with my uncle. My uncle was single for a lot of his life, up to his mid forties. His mother and father, who are my grandmother and grandfather, did give him pressure to marry. I remember going to church with them, and when they were telling their friends that my uncle was getting married, they used phrases like “it’s about time” and “finally” and other such phrases. Now that he is married, I think their focus might go to the next eldest one who is single, which would be me. They already are starting to do this. I was going through my photo album with my grandma, and every time we came across a picture of me with a girl in it, whether the girl was in the foreground or background, she would say something like “She’s cute” or “She looks nice.” This can roughly translate into, “Go ask her out and get a girlfriend.” My mom won’t admit it, but she is turning into her mother in so many ways. This is one of the ways. I don’t know how many times she said this summer before I left for college, “By this time in my life, I was dating your father.” Once again, this could roughly translate into, “Get a girlfriend.” There is even a little bit of unspoken pressure from my younger sister. She is fifteen and a sophomore in high school. She is very social; she has friends that are both female and male. Some of her friends are dating, and she could be ready to date as well. I think it may feel awkward if my younger sister has a boyfriend before I have a girlfriend, not because of the difference in gender, but because the younger one is dating before the older one.
Of course, there is always peer pressure as well. Since everyone else is boyfriend and girlfriend, you too got to get on board with that. Your friends who are taken always want to try to get you together with a partner (sometimes I think this is because they miss trying to get someone themselves). Sometimes you even feel lower than them because you don’t have someone special. With my strong mind and will, I reject any kind of pressure, whether it is from peers, or from my family. The only I will listen to is the Heavenly Father, and He will tell me the right time because he planned out my life.

12. How many hours a week do you think about the opposite sex, marriage, etc.?

This a very interesting question. This question is so interesting, a survey and study was done to figure this answer out (probably conducting by a bunch of females). The study showed that men think about sex anywhere between every seven seconds to every thirty six seconds. That’s a lot of time to think about sex. So when it comes to men thinking about females, including a non-sexual way, it has to me more, probably about ever six seconds to every thirty three seconds. For me, that sounds too much, but by just a little. I think more about God and His Word, more about my favorite activities like Bible Quizzing, but thinking about girls does make the top three. Being single, my mind is not usually always constrained to one girl, unless I have a huge crush, so it takes up a good amount of my mind. So if I had to put this in terms of a statistic, I would say every forty seconds I think about guys. Hey, I’m a guy, just like other guys.

13. What needs could a mate meet?

A mate could provide companionship, a deep companionship. A mate would be someone special who you always have right by your side. Someone who you could share secrets and concerns with and know they are trusted. A mate would help you in times of trouble, and be there to rejoice with you when you are happy. A mate could be someone who helps you grow spiritually in the Spirit of the Lord as well.

14. In the past and possibly the present, how has and can your relationships have an effect on your future relationship?

I have been in one relationship before, but even more than that, I have been rejected by six girls for even one date. It does take a toll on your self-image and confidence. In my previous relationship, since there wasn’t only one date, the impact really is just a view on myself. I still feel like it was something I did myself, so once again, it comes back to the view of myself.

15. What are the things that you detest about the “dating scene”?

I detest a lot of things with the dating scene. I detest show-off couples. I hate it when boyfriends and girlfriends are used like a prize possession, just to be shown off, like a car or a cell phone. I don’t like when couples have to make their relationship public with any kind of public displays of affection. Not everyone wants to see that. I don’t like either how the couples somehow set themselves as better than the single ones. They aren’t. It’s like they don’t know how to react in public. Also, I think a lot of couples act like they think they are already married. It’s embarrassing when things don’t work out.

16. Are you willing to let God write your love life’s script? What does that mean to you?

Yes, I am willing to let God take control. I am very willing. I give it up fully to him. I’ve tried before doing it on my own and have failed miserably. The emotions are a roller coaster. I don’t like it and don’t want it. If the Lord wants me to be single, then I will accept it. If God wants me to find a wife, then He will send her to me. Either way, I will devote everything to the Lord. He loves me with all He has, and I deserve to give Him back all my love, single, dating or married. Jehovah’s love is sufficient for me.