Why Pastors Don't Preach Self-Care from the Pulpit

Introduction

The inspiration to talk about this subject comes from an e-mail I received from somebody at my church. This person asked if I could preach on boundaries. At first glance, I assumed this person did not want to know why the Arnon River served as a boundary between Edom and Moab. Sure enough, as I continued reading the e-mail, the person specified by asking more questions, such as “How do you say no to the church guilt free?” and “How do you get the church to gracefully accept your no answer?” As I began to formulate my answer in my head, I realized these thoughts sounded familiar. Someone else asked me a similar question before, but that person did not use the term “boundaries.” That person used another term: “self-care.” Then I remembered the exact question that person asked me: “Why don’t pastors preach self-care from the pulpit?” Since the questions of boundaries and self-care sounded similar, I gave a similar answer to both boundaries and self-care: Pastors do not preach self-care from the pulpit because they know it’s unbiblical. Let’s explore that idea in three parts. First, a survey of the Scriptures will uncover the top 3 Scriptures as proof against self-care. Second, possible objections will receive responses. The third part I call the “asterisk.” Ever notice that an asterisk next to a word, phrase or sentence has a footnote with disclaimers and exceptions, so the person doesn’t get sued or in trouble? That is the exact purpose of the third section: disclaimers, exceptions, objections that do not have a response, and other thoughts to take into consideration. Finally, it will all wrap up in a nice conclusion, which will bring together these 3 parts.

(Quick Excursus: Some may want to argue that boundaries and self-care are not the same or not even similar, but quite different. While I could see that they are different, they are definitely linked. If conducting a quick Google search of self-care, I can almost guarantee that one of the points, whether at the top, bottom or in between, will say that part of self-care is establishing boundaries with people. I believe the common denominator may be rest. Self-care involves rest. Setting up boundaries involves resting from people. Therefore, I treat the two subjects the same, however, I will link them together myself by talking about rest.)

Survey of the Scriptures

Topical research best suits the study of self-help in the Bible because, simply put, modern problems require modern solutions. All 66 books of the Bible were written by specific authors, who had a historical and cultural context, to a specific audience, who had a historical and cultural context, with the purpose of responding to an occasion, whether to answer a question or solve a problem, which within itself had its own historical and cultural context. No one can find a specific passage in the Bible that directly talks about self-help because no one in Biblical times would have spoken at self-help. They never had this issue. It would come across as a foreign topic to them. Therefore, for such a modern subject, the best available option involves looks for clues from surveying the Scriptures.

With that mind, modern Christians need to realize how blessed (I thought of using a p-word here, but I decided against it because the world of politics uses it, which may trigger some people) they live to need to have this conversation. Consider Old Testament Hebrew, Israelite or Jew. They had to work sunrise to sunset to just have enough food to feed their family. They could not afford to take time off to “self-care.” Think of the 1^st century apostle (and this extends into the 2^nd century apostle, too), who constantly had to run and hide from the governments, who declared their faith illegal, in order to avoid persecution. They could not afford the “me time” to “self-care.” Heck, this does not merely apply to those living in the time of Jesus or before him. Millions of people in the world live in a third world/developing country. The closest they can get to “self-care” most people would call “survival.” Indeed, modern-day American Christians should first recognize how blessed the lived before arguing for self-care. If that hasn’t derailed the subject, let’s look at the top 3 Scriptures against self-care.

Mark 6:30-33 (ESV)-
The apostles returned to Jesus and told him all that they had done and taught. And he said to them, “Come away by yourselves to a desolate place and rest a while.” For many were coming and going, and they had no leisure even to eat. And they went away in the boat to a desolate place by themselves. Now many saw them going and recognized them, and they ran there on foot from all the towns and got there ahead of them.

Let's stop right there to put this into context. Jesus has been going village to village teaching (6:6), a tiring task. He has sent out his disciple to practice ministering (6:7-12), also tiring out the disciples. During this ministry time, Herod has John the Baptist put to death (6:14-29). From the Gospel of Matthew, we learn that Jesus heard of the news shortly after the event (cf. Matt 14:13), which must have put both a mental and emotional toll on Jesus. Between the tiring teaching and ministering, alongside the mental and emotion toll of John the Baptist's death, Jesus decides it would be best to retreat to a deserted place to find some rest and relaxation. The crowd of people, however, can anticipate where Jesus and the disciples plan to go, and they get there first. Thus, Jesus and the disciples hit land, only to the deserted place not so deserted.

And then Jesus said to the crowd, "Look, I have been traveling a lot and working hard. I am hungry, and I am tired. Besides, my second cousin just died, and I am kind of sad about that. I could really use some me-time right now, so I can give myself some self-care. If you could all just leave right now, that would be great. We will pick up again in a few days or a week."

No, just kidding. Not even close.

Mark 6:34 (ESV)-
When he went ashore he saw a great crowd, and he had compassion on them, because they were like sheep without a shepherd. And he began to teach them many things.

See what happened there? Jesus put aside feelings of hunger and tiredness to minister to the people. Because Jesus did so, he cured people of the disease those suffered from disability (cf. Matt 14:14, Luke 6:11), and he single-handedly fed over 5,000 hungry people with 2 fish and 5 loaves of bread (6:35-44). The disciples followed their rabbi's cue. Instead of complaining about their hunger and their tiredness (they seem more to complain about the impossibility of the feat), they aid their teacher, making sure the people sat down in groups of 50 and 100 (Luke 9:15) and helping distribute (Matt 14:19, Luke 9:16) and collect (6:43) the food. All because they sacrificed their "me-time" and "self-care" to love on other people.

I purposely picked the Mark account (as you can see from my cross-references, it appears in Matthew and Luke, too) because Mark purposely portrays Jesus as a Suffering Servant. If you haven't guessed already, Mark draws that imagery from Isaiah 53. Now Christians today tend to think as Jesus as the Suffering Servant because he suffered on the cross for humanity's sins, but when Matthew quotes Isaiah 53 in Matthew 8:17, it has nothing to do with salvation at all! Instead, Matthew uses as a proof text on why Jesus is healing. Both Matthew and Mark have caught onto something, which Christians reading the New Testament need to catch on as well. Jesus is not only a suffering servant in his death on the cross, but also in his ministry! Matthew and Mark speak nothing new here, as a close look at Isaiah 53 also reveals that.

Isaiah 53:1-4 (ESV)-
Who has believed what he has heard from us?
And to whom has the arm of the LORD been revealed?
For he grew up before him like a young plant,
and like a root out of dry ground;
he had no form or majesty that we should look at him,
and no beauty that we should desire him.
He was despised and rejected by men,
a man of sorrows and acquainted with grief;
and as one from whom men hide their faces
he was despised, and we esteemed him not.
Surely he has borne our griefs
and carried our sorrows;
yet we esteemed him stricken,
smitten by God, and afflicted.

These four verses are right before any mention of "pierced for our transgressions" or "crushed for our iniquities," so these verses cannot be talking about Christ’s salvific act of dying on the cross. These verses have to be talking about the ministering of the suffering servant. Even before the suffering servant experiences death that will bring about salvation, he will have to live a life full of sorrows and grief. As we see these verses fulfilled in the Gospels, this would also have to include a thankless job, meeting all the people's needs non-stop. Jesus is not only the suffering servant because he died a cruel death to save humanity from their sins. Jesus is also the suffering servant because he suffered in serving the people at the cost of his own "me-time" & "self-care"

If we are really calling ourselves Christians, which literally means "Little Christs," should we not also follow in the footsteps of Jesus in this way, too? Clearly, the disciples saw that, as mentioned above. Also as mentioned earlier, those disciples, who would become the apostles, all of them face persecution, and all but John faced martyrdom. That is the epitome of becoming suffering servants. Since we have such a great cloud of witnesses, is not sacrificing our "me-time" and "self-care" the least we could do? Any of the apostles would gladly switch places with any modern-day Christian complaining about the lack of “me-time” and “self-care”. Would you like to switch places with the apostles? Because let me tell you, when you're running from an oppressive government, there is no such thing as "me-time" or "self-care"

Matthew 11:28-30 (ESV)-
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you, and learn from me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy, and my burden is light.”

So many Christians quote Matthew 11:28, but they fail to read Matthew 11:28 in its context of Matthew 11:28-30. Christians take Matthew 11:28 out of its context because they can slap it on any earthly blessing (job raise, job promotion, new business, new house, new car, new baby, etc.) and then claim that Jesus will empower them to get the blessing they want to obtain. Reading Matthew 11:28-30 as a whole, however, teaches something contrary. Jesus does not say “Take off your yoke,” but rather, “Take my yoke upon you.” Most commentators agree that the yoke Jesus represents the teaching of a rabbi. In the 1^st century, not only did a rabbi expect his disciples to memorize everything that the Tanak (Hebrew Bible) said, but the rabbi would also expect his disciples to memorize his interpretations of the Tanak. Many, if not most, rabbis made these interpretations so complicated, much more complicated than the Tanak itself. This became so true that the 1^st century rabbis actually recognized the burden of their interpretations, even to the point of referring them as yokes (which, remember, is an enslaving device because it enslaves the animal or person using it). Jesus sets himself apart as a different rabbi because he had an easy and light yoke. Now clearly this does not mean Jesus expected less from his disciples. On the contrary, he expected more. Earlier in the same book of Matthew, Jesus announces, “Don’t just not murder, don’t even hate,” and Jesus declares, “Don’t just not commit adultery, don’t even lust.” In that way, Jesus does put a whole lot more on his disciples, but he also gives the strength to do it. The Christian’s rest comes from JESUS, not THEMSELVES. Christians are to depend on JESUS for care, not THEMSELVES.

Objections!

A good scholar not only thoroughly defends his thesis and its main points, a good scholar will also anticipate the objections that might arise to the thesis and/or its main points. Below contains three objections that might arise to contest the above points. Each objection has a response.

Objection #1: The Sabbath

Ah yes, the Sabbath. The Sabbath made Yahweh’s Top 10 Commandments. Take a closer look at that 4^th commandment in Exodus 20:8-11, though. Arguably, the first sentence (20:8) contains the actual command, the second sentence (20:9&10) consists of how to comply to that commandment, and the third sentence (20:11) explains the reason behind the commandment. With that in mind, the 4^th commandment simply states to keep the Sabbath holy. Now somebody could argue that the Hebrew verb for holy comes from the root “to set apart,” meaning that Sabbath is holy because it is set apart from the working days as a day of rest. The “set apart” could also mean, however, “set apart for Yahweh, not for yourself.” That is why the Lord commands no work on the day. God wants the Israelites to reserve that day for the Lord’s work, which would include worship, ministering and disciplining to become holy as Yahweh is holy, not for a person to work on his own business or hobbies. Yahweh did not intend the Sabbath to free people of work, but rather, the Lord intended it to free up the people of God to focus on him and his work. Someone might appeal to the historical and cultural context. When slaves in Egypt, the Hebrew people worked from sunrise to sunset every day of the week, every week of the year. Now as free Israelites, Yahweh never wanted his people to return to that lifestyle again, so he established a day of not working. Definitely worth acknowledging, but it still works against the self-care movement. Remember, in the Ancient Near East mindset, a farmer or hunter gatherer had to work every day of the year solely for survival purposes. By taking a day off, the Hebrew farmer or hunter gatherer put his or her faith in the Lord to provide for him or her. Again, it argues against self-care and for trusting in God for care.

A good hermeneutic for interpreting Old Testament law first starts with looking at what the New Testament has to say about it. The New Testament names the Sabbath 61 times in 56 verses. 50 of those instances (roughly 5/6) appear in the Gospels. As one can imagine, most, if not all come at times when Jesus debates with religious leaders about his disciples or him working on the Sabbath. To sum them all up, while Elton John says, “Saturday Night’s Alright for Fighting,” Jesus says, “Sabbath Day is Quite Alright for Nice Things” (thank you, ApologetiX). In other words, doing good on the Sabbath falls right in line with the intentions of the Sabbath. To throw a monkey wrench into the set expectations of the Sabbath, in John 5:16-18, when the Jewish leaders confront Jesus on why he works on the Sabbath, Jesus pretty much says, “I work on the Sabbath because God the Father works on the Sabbath.” Wait a minute. If Exodus 20:11 commands rest on the Sabbath because Yahweh rested on the Sabbath, but then Jesus says Yahweh works on the Sabbath, so Jesus works on the Sabbath, and Christians should become imitators of Christ, who imitates God the Father. Now Christians should work on the Sabbath. This may sound confusing, but again, the work done on the Sabbath focuses on the Lord, and the Christians depend on Jesus for the strength to do it.

Acts contains 9 occurrences of the term Sabbath, but they do not really help. The word Sabbath in Acts just serves as a marker, such as “They were a Sabbath’s walk away,” or “They read from the prophets, which is read every Sabbath” or “They arrived at a certain place on the Sabbath.” Interesting enough, the book with the 1^st century Christians modeling what church should look like have no input on the Sabbath. Some could argue that they simply kept the Sabbath as the 4^th commandment has it, while others could claim that their quietness on the topic means they really don’t care about it, but both are arguments from the silence.

That leaves the epistles, the closest the church has to explicit instructions, albeit in a historical and cultural context. The word Sabbath happens only twice, in two separate books. The first mention comes in Colossians 2:16, in which Paul declares that no one should pass judgment on who does and does not observe the Sabbath. Recall, that each epistle as a historical and cultural context, and remember Colossian’s historical and cultural context consists of Paul writing to the church in Colossae, a mix of Jewish and Gentile Christians. Probably, the Jewish Christians observed the Sabbath to letter of the law (even perhaps throwing in some rabbis’ interpretations), while the Gentile Christians just saw it as another day of the week. Possibly, some of the Jewish Christians did not consider the Gentile converts real Christians because a good Christian observes the Sabbath, which the Gentile Christian do not. Paul de-emphasizes the Sabbath in order to create unity within the Colossian church to avoid divisions.

The epistles talk about the Sabbath again in Hebrews 4:9. Hebrews 4:9 belongs in the context of Hebrews 4:8-10. Recall that the author of Hebrews (Paul or an understudy of Paul) believes Jesus is the Messiah because he fulfills the roles of all the Old Testament heroes of the faith, but Jesus does it better. Naturally, Joshua comes up as one of these Old Testament heroes of the faith. Hebrews 4 (and a little bit of Hebrews 3) that Joshua had given the Israelites “rest.” Here, the author of Hebrews uses “to rest” to mean “to be at peace.” One could say “rest assured.” The Israelites could rest assured be at peace because Joshua led the Israelites to conquer the Promised Land and establish sovereign borders, so the Israelites no longer had to worry about the Egyptian enslaving them or the Canaanites oppressing them. The author of Hebrews declares the Jesus did it better, and in order to so, he proclaims that Jesus did it spiritually. Christians today call this the doctrine of assurance. Rest assured Christians can be at peace because Jesus assures that all Christians are heaven bound with eternal life. Then in Hebrew 4:9, it says Sabbath, at least in the English Bible. See, the Greek New Testament mostly has σάββατον (sabaton), but here in Hebrews 4:9, the Greek text says σαββατισμός (sabbatismos). The ESV translates it as “Sabbath rest,” but other translators have interpreted as “Sabbath-keeping,” “Sabbath-celebration” or “Sabbath-observation.” Either way, it clues the reader into something different happening here. Then after Hebrews 4:9, Hebrews 4:10 speaks of “whoever has entered God’s rest.” While some have argued this refers to Christians, many believe this refers to Jesus. Put it all together, Hebrews 4:8-10 reveals that Christians in Jesus fulfill the Sabbath because they abide in Jesus, who has fulfilled the Sabbath. Therefore, debates about when to observe the Sabbath (looking at the Seventh Day Adventists, here) or what to consider working on the Sabbath renders null-and-void. It does not matter because Jesus fulfilled it all, and thus Christians in Christ fulfill it, too.

To concluding this response to that objection, the Sabbath does not support self-care. The Sabbath teaches setting apart a day to worship, minister, to spiritually discipline and do other good things. It also teaches to trust in God to take care of his people. It does not give permission to pursue bliss.

Objection #2: Jesus went off alone

Indeed, Jesus did go off by himself, which requires a survey of those instances. Below consists of 5 occurrences of Jesus alone. More specifically, these 5 times consist of Jesus solely by himself, leaving out any times where Jesus went off “alone” with his disciples, as in away from a crowd, like when Jesus went up Mount of Olives with just Peter, James and John for the transfiguration or when Luke 9:18 describes Jesus as “alone with the disciples” before Peter’s confession of the Christ (although I do cheat with the last one, which is Jesus going off “alone” with his disciples, Jesus just going a little further more “by himself” with Peter, James and John, and then Jesus goes a little further fully alone.)

Mark 1:35/Luke 4:42- Praying before preaching in the synagogues of Galilee
Matthew 14:23/Mark 6:46- Praying before walking on the sea
Luke 5:16- Praying after healing the sick
Luke 6:12- Praying before choosing the disciples
Matthew 26:39/Mark 14:35/Luke 22:41- Praying before his arrest, trials and crucifixion.

See a pattern here? All of them contain the spiritual discipline of prayer. All but 1 consist of Jesus praying before a daunting task. Anyone who has participated in a prayer vigil knows that how exhausting intense prayer can become. Jesus goes away alone neither to have a manicure and pedicure, nor to binge watch his favorite television show on his favorite streaming service, nor to play a video game marathon, nor to do a crossword or word search while listening to his favorite music. He has separated himself to intently focus on his Father in prayer. Some of these passages say he stayed up all night doing this, and in the morning, he continues ministry as normal. Most people who stayed up all night for a prayer vigil would go to bed right after the prayer vigil has ended, yet Jesus continued ministering. One could simply dismiss it as Christ’s divinity, but remember that Jesus modeled the way to his disciples, including the modern-day ones. Again, Jesus did spiritual work here alone, he depended on his Father for care.

Objection #3: Mary and Martha

Somebody might cite the story of Mary and Martha, as found in Luke 10:38-42. In Luke 10:38-42, Luke recalls a time when Jesus taught in the home of Mary and Martha. Martha becomes preoccupied with hosting, but Mary sits and the feet of Jesus and listens. When Martha tells Jesus to make Mary assist in hosting, Jesus replies by saying Mary chose the good thing, the better thing. Someone might interpret this to mean that the good thing, the better thing involve passively learning about Jesus through Bible study and prayer, whereas the more active things, like Martha, become the lesser things in life. Two problems arise from this interpretation.

The first comes from the near context. It requires a grander discussion on what one better thing means. At first glance, it would indeed seem like the one better thing is that passive, receiving role of just listening, and the lesser thing is the active serving. Most commentators, however, believe quite the opposite. Jesus is no ordinary guest. He is a rabbi guest. He has come to Mary and Martha’s home with the purpose of teaching. Therefore, the best way to serve the rabbi as the guest of honor involves listening to and receiving the rabbi’s teaching. Thus, Mary is not just passively sitting. Mary indeed serves Jesus, and she serves Jesus in the best way by participating in what Jesus came to do: teach.

The second comes from the far context, or this account’s relation to all the narratives in the Gospels. Mary, the sister of Martha, appears in another pericope. This story comes from both Mark 14:1-9 and John 12:1-8, although Mark simply calls her “a woman” (probably because of the lack of the Mary and Martha story in Mark). Again, Mary faces scolding from people (Marks generally names the disciples, John specifically calls out Judas Iscariot) for using expensive perfume of Jesus, which could have been sold for a good price and donated to the poor. Jesus shuts down this negativity by remarking that Mary has done a beautiful thing, and he also adds, “The poor you will always have with you, but you will not always have me.” While sadly some Christians use this line as a defense for their refusal to help the poor, most good Christians know this only applies for a certain context, when Jesus physically roamed the earth in his body. Likewise, even if the “one better thing” in Luke 10:42 refers to passively sitting and listen, only in this context it qualifies as the one better thing. Just because Jesus calls it the one good thing, it does not lessen service. The Bible clearly teaches the importance of service.

Astericks*

Just a friendly reminder, this section consists of disclaimers, exceptions, objections that do not have a response, and other thoughts worth taking into consideration.

*Perhaps you are serving in the wrong way?

When consider this thought, I thought about a certain brother in Christ who attends my church. He serves on the ministerial team (my church’s leadership team) as a trustee, which means he oversees building maintenance. He fits the role perfectly, for if anybody deserves the nickname Mr. Fix It, it belongs to him. He can fix most things, and if he can’t, he knows who can. Our church building runs so well because he oversees it. On the complete end of the spectrum falls me. I cannot fix anything in my own house, let alone another building, if the solution does not involve duct tape or WD-40. I can, however, teach Sunday School and preach a sermon, thanks to my God-given spiritual gifts and talents, as well as my education and experience. I imagine what would happen if I switched roles with this brother in Christ. I imagine we would both feel miserable after every day of serving. Why? Because his spiritual gifts do not including teaching and prophesy, and my talents do not render me a maintenance man. God has given his people, his beloved creation, the spiritual gifts to empower them to serve in that specific way.

I urge you - spiritual gifts are key to serving without tiring. I encourage everybody to discover their spiritual gifts, so they can know how to serve. As a Mennonite, I know some Mennonite church who discourage talk about spiritual gifts because they fear it emphasizes the individual and de-emphasizes the community. As a fellow Mennonite, I would like correct that false dichotomy with a very Mennonite illustration: 4-part harmony. (I feel like I need to add a disclaimer within a disclaimer. No church, Mennonite or non-Mennonite should focus on how they sound. True worship in unison always surpasses false worship in 4-part harmony.) When a church or choir sings in 4-part harmony, each individuals has their own part according to his or her singing range, yet all 4 parts combine together to a single beautiful sound. Likewise, when Christians come together, each bringing his or her own spiritual gifts, it creates a beautiful church. In high school, when a high school senior does not know what occupation to pursue after graduation, a high school teacher might advise, “Find out what you love doing, and find a way to get paid doing it.” Similarly, figure out what you love doing, and find a way to serve both your God and your church with it.

*Maybe you’re not working together a community of believers?

So many Bible verses talk about serving others above yourself. Philippians 2:1-5 comes to mind instantly as one, and 1 John 3:16-19 comes to mind as another. Well, if somebody gives that service, someone has to receive that service. Going back to Philippians 2:1-5, Paul speaks to believers within the church of Philippi serving one another. The church needs to look out for its own congregation. A congregant should never have to have to consider practicing self-care because the congregation should be on top of taking care of its own people. A healthy church should recognize when somebody does too much, and it considers what it could take off that’s person place. A healthy church has its members check up on one another to see how life treats them and what they can do to make things better if things seem the worse.

Maybe your church is like my church. Every October the church asks the congregation to nominate members to serve in a ministry role after praying about it. Of course, the decision needs bathing in prayer, but this bathing in prayer should have you thinking about certain questions. First, as stated above, who has the God-given spiritual gifts and talents that would fit perfectly in serving in this ministry? For example, it would not be wise to nominate for the church camping ministry that guy who like to surround himself with his laptop, tablet, smartphone, TV, 3 video game consoles and 3 video games handhelds. Second, who currently serves in a ministry and who does not serve in a ministry? Those not serving get first billing, and those serving get last billing. Third, who serves in a major role, like a leadership role, and who serves in a minor role? To edit our listing, those not serving get top listing, those who serve in minor roles get middle listing, those who serve major roles get bottom listing. Fourth, what does life look like outside this church? Now for this last one, do not think a busy life outside church excuses you from serving the church or a ministry. As a matter of fact, if you claim that your life has too much to actively participate in church life outside the Sunday morning worship service, I will tell you that you need to cut something out of your outside-the-church life. Those who do have both a busy life and a desire to actively serve the church, however, it should fit nicely and neatly with the rest of life. If you don’t know the answers to some of these questions, then you should ask the person. Get to know the person. This will better inform your nomination. Therefore, to answer the questions “How to say no to the church guilt free” and “How to get the church to gracefully accept your no answer” is simply “It should never get to that point!”

*Could it be gender differences?

A little while back, I found a news article with a headline along the lines of “Men prefer staycations, women prefer vacation.” If not up to date with the lingo, a staycation is when an employee uses paid time off to just stay at home, instead of going somewhere. Yes, men prefer to use their paid time off to just stay at home, whereas women prefer to go on vacation, the further away from home, the better the vacation. The article hypothesized that men prefer to stay at home because, as the bread winners of the home, they want to enjoy the number 1 expense their paycheck goes towards: the rent or mortgage on their home. Women like vacations, the article hypothesized, because they associate the home as work (cooking, cleaning, childcare, etc.), and a true vacation has to get as far away from that home as possible, to a hotel or bed and breakfast that does the cooking and cleaning for them (as you can imagine, the comments of this article accused the article of sexism because of assigning traditional gender roles).

This article got me wondering if the same gender difference applied to self-care. Men do not talk about self-care because work stays at work and home stays at home. When they come home from work, they can rest because work stayed at work. For women, however, they feel differently. For the stay-at-home wife/mother, the home becomes the workplace, which they can never clock out. For the women who do work a job with a company, they can feel like they clock out at work to clock back in at home. Thus, as a man, I do feel a little guilty preaching to the women on self-care. Therefore, as a man, I will say to my brothers in Christ who are also husbands: remember your wife is also your sister in Christ. The Bible clearly teaches us to serve everyone, especially our fellow brother and sister in Christ. Take care of your spouse, your fellow brother and sister in Christ. Share the burden. Serve more, so she can serve less.

Conclusion

Jesus famously taught that the greatest commandment is to love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind, and the second is to love your neighbor as yourself (Matthew 22:37-39). This commandment has laid to equally famous acronym J.O.Y., which stands for “Jesus first, others second, yourself last.” That acronym provides the perfect outline for the biblical understanding of care and rest. First, Christians should concern themselves with Jesus-care. Seek Jesus for care. If Jesus wants you to rest, then Jesus will give you rest. If Jesus desires you to serve or to work, Jesus will give you the strength to do so. Second, seek the care of others. As a result, it will reciprocate back to you. Third, rid yourself of any notion of self-care. The heart of sin reverses the acronym and the two greatest commandments. It puts the self before Jesus and others. It says, “I cannot trust Jesus or the church to take care of me, so I have to take care of myself.” It leads to self-indulgence. Church, let us reject these sinful ideas of the godless society which seeps into the church, and instead, let us seek to mold ourselves after Jesus Christ, the suffering servant.