The Parable of the Cheerleader and Tim Dietrich

The Parable of the Cheerleader and Tim Dietrich: A Contemporary, Modern-Day Re-Telling of the Parable of the Rich Man and Lazarus (Luke 16:19-31)

There are two types of teenagers in this world. The teenagers who puberty is friendly towards, and the teenagers who puberty is not so friendly towards.

Sherry McQueen was one of the teenagers who puberty was friendly towards. Almost literally overnight, puberty had turned this girl into a woman. She sprouted up to six feet tall, a height that made both boys and girls jealous of her. She had curves in all the right places, giving her that perfect hourglass-shaped body. Her naturally blonde hair now had a bright shine to it. Her teeth came in straight and shined a radiant pearly white, like she was wearing a set of bleached dentures. And somehow, her skin remained blemish free. In fact, she could easily get a light bronze tan, one that would last for days. All in all, anyone who didn’t know Sherry McQueen, but saw a photo of her, would have thought that her picture was a photoshopped cover of a Seventeen magazine.

Sherry’s new looks gave her new confidence. With her new confidence, Sherry tried out for the high school cheerleading team. Not only did Sherry make the squad, she was soon elected by her fellow cheerleaders as the cheer captain. Her new status, on top of her new looks, quickly shot up her popularity in her high school, until she was the most popular girl in school. She quickly found out that her popularity got her privileges. She got to sit anywhere in the cafeteria. Sometimes people would bring her lunch to her, and some would even pay for her lunch! Every boy would flirt with her, so she got first pick of what boys to date. Each boy, flirting in his own special way, would give Sherry special treatment. Jock boys would carry her books for her from class to class. Nerdy boys would do her homework for her. Prep boys would buy her expensive gifts. Greaser boys would fix her car for her. Even the teachers liked Sherry so much, Sherry got special treatment from them, too! Sherry could easily get excused for showing up late for class, and she sometimes even got to leave early for no reason at all. As if the nerdy boys doing her homework wasn’t enough, some teachers would grade her on a curve or round up her grades, because, let’s face it, the football team and basketball team have no hope of winning of unless the cheerleading captain can lead the cheerleading squad in cheering on the fans. While at first the attention creeped her out, Sherry loved it and gladly accepted it. While Sherry hated school for the usual reasons teenagers hate school, she loved the social life she had there.

But alas, as I said earlier, there’s also the teenagers who puberty is not so friendly towards. Meet Tim Dietrich. Puberty indeed was not too friendly towards him. His growth spurt gave him a whole inch only. The freshman fifteen didn’t wait until college; Tim got it in his freshman year of high school. Being short, chubby, and on top of that, Italian American, would eventually earn him the nickname “Meatball.” The worst part was the acne, for it broke out as if he was having a second round of chicken pox. While Sherry’s good looks gave her confidence and positive attention, Tim’s looks gave him little attention, if any, and it was attention he did not want. Therefore, Tim kept to himself. Instead of spending time with people, he spent time with things. He became fascinated with flying, not just making model airplanes and model rockets, but also sending them into the air. Tim’s unique hobby, however, did not gain him any more friends in school. It just brought him more mocking and more ridicule from his classmates.

Sherry and Tim did know each other. They had a lot of classes together. Tim had once had reached out to Sherry. He had hoped if he could even become friends, his fellow classmates would be nicer to him. Perhaps it would have worked, if Tim would have given Sherry the homework answers that Sherry expected, just like all of her nerdy classmates. Tim may have not been the most moral person out there, but something felt unfair to him that he would do all the hard work to get the same grade as Sherry did. Sherry didn’t take too kindly to Tim’s refusal to do her homework. She joined in on the mocking and ridicule. The other teenagers at the school, not wanting to appear against Sherry, also joined in on her mocking and ridiculing, making Tim’s life even worse.

But alas, high school only takes up four years of a person’s life. Although those four years progressed differently for Sherry and Tim, both had the same end results. Both Sherry and Tim graduated.

It wouldn’t take long for Sherry to wish she didn’t graduate, for she missed high school more than she thought. At high school, she had a life of ease. After high school, she could not get it back. While classmates did Sherry’s homework, none of that mattered when it came to SAT scores. Sherry got a low SAT score. With low SAT score, combined with barely passing grades, Sherry could not get into any college except community college, and she barely got into that. There she found out fellow classmates would not do her homework and professors would not give her the same grading ease her high school teachers gave her. By the end of her fall semester, she had a 0.7 GPA, and by the end of the spring semester, her GPA was 0.5. Sherry dropped out of community college by the end of her freshman year. With no education and no prior job experience, the only job she could grab was the local burger joint, where she rotated between flipping burgers, washing dishes and working the cash register. She came home every day sweaty, stinky and a mess. She found her job gross and repulsive. Because of all this, a depression set in. She stopped caring for herself. Her hair no longer shined, but had become a dirty blonde, matted and knotted. Her teeth turned from white to the yellow her hair use to be. Working in a greasy environment, blemishes broke out, as if the acne part of puberty finally arrived. Without the looks, no men freely handed out gifts or services. The few who did would only use and abuse her. In fact, one such man got her pregnant, and he ran away from her immediately upon finding out. Now on top of all the adult responsibilities she had to learn to take on, she now had to be a single mother, too. Adult responsibilities and single motherhood cost a lot. She needed credit cards to keep up with the bills, which only left her with big credit card bills and bigger credit card debt. Sherry became depressed about life, and the best cure she knew of was drinking a few beers at the local bar, which only cured temporarily, but worsened the credit card debt.

One day, as Sherry watched the morning show, eating her breakfast before she drove off to work, the morning show host announced, “It was once thought of as a fantasy of science fiction movies and television shows, but this man has made the fantasy a reality. Ladies and gentlemen, I introduce you to the man who invented the flying car, Tim Dietrich!” Sherry’s head perked as she heard the name. She knew that name! Could it be that one kid from high school? How common could that name be? She watched as the man walked across the stage to shake the host’s hand. That was him! Sure, the body was slimmer and the face was acne free, but besides that, she could clearly tell it was him.

“So let’s start off with where it all began,” the host began. “Where did you get this idea?”

“From the Jetsons and Back to the Future of course!” Tim laughed at his own joke, and the host joined in laughing. “Seriously, though, I had always been fascinated with flying. As a kid, I made things that flew, from model airplanes to model rockets. When I got accepted into a university, I majored in aviation and aerodynamics. I even got my pilot’s license. I enjoyed flying my little plane, but I knew it was hard to get a pilot license, and I wanted everyone to enjoy this experience. So I thought of ways everyone could enjoy it. Since most adults have their driver’s license, why not turn the car into a plane?”

“Now I know many car companies had offered you a job so your patent could be used on their cars. Not only have American companies like Ford, Dodge and Chevy, but also international car companies liked Toyota, Honda and Hyundai. Why did you end up choosing Ford?” the host asked Tim.

“Besides the fact, that Ford offered to make me a billionaire, while all the others just offered to make me a millionaire?” Tim again laughed at himself, and the host laughed, too. “Well, I obviously wanted to keep it in the U.S.A. to keep jobs in the country and keep the American economy flowing. But for which company to choose, I chose Ford because when I think of Ford, I think of the inventor of the car. I think of my job as re-inventing the car, and I just wanted to keep Mr. Ford’s legacy alive.”

What? A billionaire? Sherry was in shock. Yeah, she knew Tim knew his science pretty well from science class, but he didn’t seem to be a nerdy genius, compared to other kids in school. She never thought someone big would come out of her small high school in her small town, either. It must have be nice, though, she thought, to not have to worry about money like she did.

“So how does it feel to be the most eligible bachelor in your home city of Detroit?” the host asked with a smirk. Tim laughed a long time to deal with the awkward question, and then he answered, “I haven’t thought about it. I think about when I land in Detroit this evening in my flying Porsche this afternoon,” Tim said with a wink.

Detroit? He lived in Detroit? Why, Sherry lived in a suburb right outside Detroit! Detroit was just an hour or two away from her home. Despite their old high school being miles away, they had somehow managed to be so close. Then, an idea entered in Sherry’s mind. She had to meet with Tim, or at least talk with him. Perhaps when they talked, a romantic spark might happen between the two. Or maybe they could just be friends, friends enough that Tim would have pity on her to help pay off her credit card debt. All during her work shift, Sherry planned what she would say and what she would do to win Tim over. The second her shift was over, she rushed home. She looked up Tim’s number. Only finding his office number, she gave the office number a call.

“Good day,” a female voice at the end of line spoke. “You’ve reached the office of Tim Dietrich. This is Angela, his secretary and person assistant speaking. How may I assist you?” Sherry was caught off guard by the female voice, expecting to hear Tim’s voice, but once she came to realize it was his administrative assistant, she spoke. “My name is Sherry McQueen.”

“Are you the one with CBS? ABC? NBC? FOX?” Angela quickly chimed in. “Sorry, with all these reporters asking for an interview, it’s hard to keep track of all of you.”

“No,” said Sherry. “I’m not with any news group.”

“Then are you one of the lab assistants working with Mr. Dietrich on one of his projects?” Angela asked.

“No, I’m not a lab assistant, either,” Sherry said. “I know him from high school.”

“Um, ok? Is this about a class reunion or something?” Angela asked, confused.

 
“No, I just want to see him, maybe over coffee?” Sherry said.

“Ma’am,” Angela said politely, “Mr. Dietrich does not have time for ‘coffee.’ If he wants a coffee, he has me run to get him one. He spends most of his time in his lab, inventing technology that will advance the human. When he’s not in the lab, he’s constantly in either in meetings or interviews. He barely has enough time for his hobbies, like going to the gym. If he can’t enjoy hobbies, he definitely does not have time for chit chat.”

“Well, can I at least talk to him over the phone?” Sherry asked. “Just mention it’s Sherry McQueen. He’ll remember!” Sherry insisted.

“Funny,” Angela said, trying to maintain professionalism. “I don’t ever remember Mr. Dietrich ever mentioning a Sherry McQueen in all the years I have worked for him. In fact, every time someone mentions high school, he becomes quiet and ignores the subject. If he doesn’t have any positive memories of high school, I don’t want to bring any bad memories back into his life. It might throw him off from his work.”

 

“Please!” Sherry insisted. “I’m in bad debt and I need help!”

 

“Ugh, not another one of you,” Angela groaned. Then her voice became stern. “Now listen here! I don’t know how many distant relatives or long lost friends have called asking for money, and you’re just another one of them. You should be ashamed of yourself, you…you…shameless hussy! Don’t call again, or I’ll have the police trace the line and arrest you for harassment. But if you need advice, I’ll give you some. Get a job! And if that’s not enough, get another one!” Angela hung up on her.

 

All Sherry could do was hang up the phone and sob uncontrollably.