Ranking the First 30 ApologetiX Albums

They say that the music people listen at the age of 13 and 14 becomes "their music." Well, it just so happens that at the age 13, I was introduced to a band called the ApologetiX. The time could not have been any more perfect. See, I had accepted Jesus Christ as my Lord and Savior when I was in 6th grade at the age of 12. By the time I had turned 13, I had very much hit the age in my spiritual journey where I took the command "You are to be holy as I am holy" very seriously. I rejected anything in my life that was not explicitly Christian. That included all aspects of culture, including music. I even remember telling a classmate in my Sunday school class that "The Wheels on the Bus Go 'Round and 'Round" had no redeeming value because it did not explicitly praise and worship Jesus. Still, in the back of my mind, I think I knew deep down that secular music had the better instrumentals. That's where the ApologetiX stepped in. They had the awesome instrumentals that the secular music had, but they had God-honoring lyrics that made the songs more redeemable in my eyes. My youth group leaders, Mike & Michele Cronrath introduced them to me at youth group with their Spoofernatural CD, and it just so happened that the following spring, they would perform at my Christian school's auction fundraiser.

Since then, I have attended at least 10 concerts: in Souderton (3 times), Lansdale, Bensalem, Quakertown, Boyertown, Shippensburg, Mount Joy and York. I would have to say my favorite one is the one in Boyertown. At the beginning of the concert, then lead guitarist Karl Messner asked everybody in the ApologetiX fan club to stand. I stood alone. Karl then asked for my name and deemed the Boyertown branch of the ApologetiX club "the Graham club" (I'm not sure how official that was, but when I asked the lead singer J. Jackson about that years later, he remembered!). My second favorite concert would be the Shippensburg once because that was the one and only concert I took my then-girlfriend, now-wife Carrie to see. I always told Carrie that she doesn't have to like the exact same things as me, but she has to experience them at least once, so when I talk about them, she knows what I'm talking about. It ended up not being Carrie's thing, but she helped me by taking photos and video. To round it off, to a nice top 3, my 3rd favorite concert would be the one in York, but that's in hindsight. That concert would turn out to be one of the last concerts (sixth-to-last, if I counted correctly), and it's just awesome to know I was there for one of the last concerts. Also, fun fact, that was their one and only concert in York, PA ever.

Since, I then I have owned every album up to Braggadocious. Honestly, though, that statistic has fallen under recent times. Just a few years ago, the collect only consisted of the albums from Jesus Christ Morning Star to You Can’t Say Euphrates Without the 80s, which including the director’s cut of Isn’t Wasn’t Ain’t, but did not include Chosen Ones. Since I  became a fan between Keep the Change and Grace Period was I was a teen, my album collection started from there (my first album was Keep the Change) and spread out both forward and backward. By the time I decided I wanted to purchase Radical History Tour and Ticked!, ApologetiX had already sold out copies both in the online store and the after concert store. I really hoped that the band would one day re-release both Radical History Tour and Ticked! like they did for Isn’t Wasn’t Ain’t (I jumped on that when they did re-release it), but they never did. My collect felt incomplete without them. Therefore, I turned to the internet for them. Of course, I could only find them on eBay. I needed to go to 2 different retailers to find each CD, brand-new and factory-sealed. After taxes and shipping, the grand total came to $49.54. I went ahead and purchased them, but something did not feel right. It did not feel right that I paid these eBay retailers close to $50 when I knew the band found themselves in financial struggles. I knew deep down that if they did have these CDs available in their online store, I would bought them directly from them, not from another retail, so they could receive the full payment for themselves. I really wanted them to get the full payment for these CDs, so I decided to donate another $50 directly to them, so they may receive full payment for their work. I asked for not goods or services in return because my $50 donation is really me just paying them for these 2 CDs. Well, the band appreciate my donation so much, they completed my collection for me, sending every album I did not, all the way up to their lastest album, which, at the time, was Braggadocious. I thanked them with another $15 donation (so it's at least $5 per CD they sent me), and I promised that I would do my best to keep up with my CD collection, so I don't lose the chance to add my collection again. Unfortunately, sadly, life happens, and I could not keep my promise. To this day, I have added only 1 new CD to my collection.

Although I joined their fanbase in 2003, when they had been around for 11 years at that point, I feel like I have been around with them much longer, almost since the beginning. I feel like I have been there through thick and thin, through the good times and the bad times. I think it's because the band (the band itself, not the band members) is around the same age as me. In a way, I have grown up with them. And now, as I am about to have my 34th birthday in July, the ApologetiX just a couple of days ago (March 27) had their 30th birthday of their first concert. I wanted to do something for them. Of course, I could only donate so much, and there is nothing I could really do more than that. Then I got an idea. In the ApologetiX newsletter, I saw a bunch of fans submit their top 10 favorite ApologetiX songs. I thought I could submit my own list, but then I realized I could never pick only 10 songs out of the 575 songs I have on my ApologetiX playlist! Then a better idea hit me. The ApologetiX have close to 30 albums (not counting the compilation albums), and it is their 30th birthday (at least since their first concert). How about I give a countdown of 30 ApologetiX albums! It's just so fitting, since J. Jackson is telling all the newsletter subscribers about his influential albums that I share my influential albums, even if they are all ApologetiX albums.

Now let me put in some rules/guidelines-

 First, I will only be counting the first 30 albums. This is not a statement for or against the newer albums. It's just that I have been listening to the older albums longer, so I am more familiar with them. To be honest though, in a way, it's not fair to compare the older albums to the new albums. Since 2014, the ApologetiX have shift from selling albums to selling singles, and then when they have enough singles, they put them together on an album for the fans who still prefer a physical medium over a digital medium. Yes, J. explained very well when they started doing this that this was the new trend with music (both in the secular and the sacred realm), due to the growth of digital outlets, like iTunes. With some albums, this has worked out well, as all the singles have concurrent theme, whether that be a musical genre, a musical decade or a theological theme. With other albums, this has not worked out well, as they do feel like a bunch of singles thrown onto an album, like somebody's mix tape. Call me old fashion, but I miss the traditional way of doing things. I miss the old way of getting a new album once a year. It wasn't over-saturated, and it gave something to look forward to as a fan. There's also a number game behind it, too. On average, the ApologetiX release 36 singles/songs within a given year. They choose to put them on 3 albums, with 12 songs each. Before they did this method, the average ApologetiX album had an average of 18 songs per album. Do the math. The ApologetiX should release 2 albums per year, with 18 songs on each of them. Yes, I know the ApolgetiX did this to increase their income, and my heart goes out to them for their financial struggles, but the buyers should feel like they are getting their money's worth for being fans. Trust me, the true fans will gladly donate more if they feel like they are getting more out of their donation. Sorry if I went off on a rant there, and it really does not change my love for the ApologetiX, but for this reason, the main focus will be on the older albums and not on the newer albums.

Second, the first 30 albums will not include the compilation albums known as ApologetiX Classics because that's exactly what they are: albums compiling classic ApologetiX songs ("classic" here defined as any parody composed before 2010), based either of musical year or musical genre. I recognize this is a great way to get a new fan involved into the ApologetiX, especially if that new fan only likes music from a certain decade or a certain genre. On the flip side, however, these albums add nothing new for the old fan, who already has these songs on the original album. If anything, the old fan, by purchasing these albums, will merely have duplicates of songs they already have, again adding nothing new (live version, remastered version, etc.) Besides, compiling songs based off music decade or music genre just doesn't have that same charm as the original mix on the albums. This list will also not include the "compilation albums" (if one can call them that) Rare Not Well Done ApologetiX Rarities. These rarities consist of songs off the ApologetiX cassette tapes before Isn't Wasn't Ain't, which the band itself does not consider part of its discography, so neither will I. Besides, a lot of those songs appear as remastered tracks on their newer albums, so those songs might get attention there. This list will also not include the EPs, such as Orchard Avenue, Transformed Soul or any of the Churchigo EPs because, again, they were never released as albums. This list will include, however, New and Used Hits and all the live albums because they either have brand new songs on them or they revamp the old songs in some way, shape or form (new lyrics, new instrumentals, audience participation, etc.)

Third, these album reviews will be different your standard album review. After all, how do you review an album which is a combination of greatest hits, even if those greatest hits are parodies? Therefore, I will (try to) construct these review in 4 parts. To start, I will try to give some background information about this album. Following that, I will give some comments on that title, as I typically am impressed with the creative album titles, which work so well for a Christian parody band.  Next, I will give the strengths and weaknesses of the album. Then, I will name my personal favorite song on this album. The criteria for favorite song will usually include how faithful the instrumentals stick to the original, the creativity of the lyrics, the orthodoxy of the theology and how much it redeems the original song. Finally, I will conclude with why I put the album so high or low (or in the middle) of the list.

And if you don't like any of these rules/guidelines, you can make up your own list :)

One last thing before I close this introduction. For the first few albums, I will sound incredibly harsh on them. It's not that I hate them. It's not even that I dislike them. I love all the ApologetiX albums. I have at least 1 song from every album on my ApologetiX playlist. I just need to justify why one album ranks so high, and another album ranks so low. The harsh judging justifies the low ranking. As the ranking goes up, there will be less negative criticism and more positive criticism.

Let the countdown commence! :)