I am a virgin, am I an island?

"What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We died to sin; how can we live in it any longer? What then? Shall we sin because we are not under law but under grace? By no means!" -Romans 6:1,2,15

First off, may I wish everyone a happy New Year. May both God bless us and we bless God in the new year.

Now it is time to talk. It is a subject that is touchy, and rather not talked about. But it has been burdening my heart recently. It is the virginity of my generation.

I am 19. Not married, not dating, but single. I still consider my generation the high school age group. And it saddens my heart to know how little we care about our virginity. Our media doesn't happen. Celebrities having babies out of wedlock, especially with 16 year old Jamie Spears now having a baby, and we just shrugg it off, and maybe get a little excited about the new child. In the same way, our generation responds to any girl getting pregnant. We shrug it off, or just focus on how excited.

It amazes me how this worldly problem is seeping into the church. I have tried my best to grow up in Christian atmosphere, being around people who also resist temptation, which helps me avoid sin. Yet since I could comprehend prematural sex, I have known of 7 girls and 2 guys who called themselves Christian (I'll give them the benefit of the doubt, although they could be weeds who like springing up among the wheat) and were sexually active. Furthermore, may I say that 4 of those girls ended up pregnant. But I do not want to emphasize that, for I don't want to say sex before marriage is only a sin if it leads to pregnancy. That would be like saying sex is only a sin if you catch an STD. Teens will have sex without ever facing any STD, while at the same time a married couple can get one. For a liberal generation that's in a liberal time period, let me be straight out and foreward to you: PREMARITIAL SEX IS A SIN!!!

We hear a lot about the santicty of marriage, but it's talking about the homosexual vs. heterosexual marriage debate. But it also refers to respecting the boundaries of marriage. How come I see Christian girls one day wearing the purity ring, and the next day they have the swollen belly? So much for the ring. You may be thinking that this happens in the secular community, too, and you're right, I've seen it when I go out to evangelize. But the difference between and us and them is big. We know right from wrong because we have God's Law. They do not. They are lost; they are blind of their sin. When I go evangelize to them, I make them realize that sin in all aspects of their life is the problem. We are different because we know right from wrong. And we were reborn, we set ourselves apart from our sinful living. As Romans 6:2 said above, we died to sin, so why are we still in it? If we have given everything to God, that includes our bodies, our virginity, our sexual activity.

So for all those out Christian teens out there who are sexually active, I am not going to judge you or condemn you. The Lord will judge you, and the Law will condemn you. Here's what I am going to do. First, I am going to show the Bible says it wrong, for any of you who doubt it. It's as clear as the 7th commandment in Exodus 20: "Do not commit adultery." Let's look back at the beginning, as in Genesis. On the sixth day, after creating the man, God did not command, "Go out and have sex. Be sexually active." Rather, he said, "Be fruitful and increase in number; fill the earth and subdue it." (Genesis 1:28) If we remember 7th grade Health class, we remember sex is how we reproduce. God's concern was not that couples were sexually active, but rather that more humans were being produced. So may I make a hermeneutic different from normal thought and suggest this: God made sex strictly for reproduction, and nothing more. The only reason it's pleasurable is an encouragement to do it. Let's face it, we are lazy. We don't do anything unless we are benefiting from it. If God made the curse be painful sex, a lot of humans would say, "Not worth it" and the human civilization would die out due to lack of reproduction. I want to look at something else. Not as much in the Bible, but the customs in Bible terms, which will help produce a healthy exgesis. Let's start out with Genesis 2:24, when the first marriage is established. The verse says, "For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and they will become one flesh." In a B.C. wedding, the final event that bound the couple as husband and wife was a parade to the bedroom, where the father would hand his daughter off to the groom, and they would make love for the first time. What do we get out of this? Making love is a binding marriage. The first person you have sex with, the person you lose your virginity to, is now married to you because you are one flesh. This even includes minors. It doesn't matter if the state or nation recognizes it as marriage. So how many of you Christian youth out there are married? How many of you have "married" many men or women, which we all accept polygomy as sin? Isn't that a new way to put it that might cause all of you to quiver. If you've had sexual with multiple partners, in a way, you're a polygamist. Bottom line again, ADULTERY IS A SIN!!!

This is the second thing I will offer to the Christian teens who are sexually active is forgiveness. The Bible says only blasphemy against the Holy Spirit is an unforgiving sin, and adultery is not blasphemy against the Holy Spirit. You can all be forgiven, and it's not too late. I think that's the biggest lie my generation believes is forgivness has to do with the human anatomy. I cannot deny that when you physically lose your viriginity, you cannot gain it back. No doubt about it. But a lot of my generation think something like this, "Well, I lost my viriginity and now there's no turning back. So I guess I'll have sex whenever now because I can't get my virginity back. Wrong. I like to believe in not only a physical virginity, but also a spiritual virginity. This is what we as Christians have set apart to God to preserve until marriage. I believe if someone confesses their sin of adultery, and repents by stopping all sexual activity until marriage, he or she will be forgiven and the spiritual virginity will be restored. In the eyes of God, they will be virgins again. But as I said, it requires admitting you were wrong by having sex early and turning away from any sexual sin. Once again, I am not judging or condemning anyone. My generation already gets a lot of that from the generation above. I am encouraging all to do what is right in the eyes of God. There is forgiveness, and it's not too late. Do not refuse it, and don't just accept it. Gladly embrace it.

I believe it is the job for those Christian teens who are still sexually pure to encourage the others sexually pure to continue to abstain from sex, and to approach those who did not abstain, and encourage them to confess, repent, and be forgiven. They don't need more adults and elderly yelling out them for doing sin; they already have enough of that. They need encouragement from their own peers. They don't want to listen to those older, they want to listen to those around their age. Listening to the secular world is what got them into trouble, listening to the Christian peer will help them get out. It will be hard, but it will also be worth it. I can demonstrate this by telling you about a conversation I had with a Christian girl a while ago. She was 15, and sexually active with her boyfriend. She was considering going on The Pill and wanted my advice. I didn't get in her face, but I showed her why it was wrong. I explained to her the wrong was not taking the pill, but having sex with a boyfriend without first being married. I presented her all the evidence she needed. And she really did listen. That's the last I heard from her. I don't know what her decision was. But her last line will never leave me, "Thanks for caring. My other friends would just say whatever and not pay any attention to it, but because you are going against what I am doing, it shows me you care." That's what we got to start doing. Start caring. Start loving. If we start loving, we can start to show true love. For it's time our youth discover this truth: you can have sex without any love, and you can love without any sex

I want to give a final encouragement by telling everyone what I do. This is usually personal and private, but I want you both guys and girls to see what I am doing and thinking to show it is impossible. I am saving myself for marriage, and I don't need a ring to show. And as I am saving my viriginity for my wife, I am setting the standard higher to say I will only marry a virgin. If I saved my virginity to her, I want to know she did the same for me. I do not want to be an adulterer because my wife decided to mess around with other guys first, whether it be husband, boyfriend, or accquaintance. And a God as my witness, if I am 40 years old and not married, I will be the 40 year old virgin. And if I'm 70 and still not married, I will be the 70 year old virgin! Further more, I keep my dating relationships to a minimal phyiscal action. Some people go as far as beliving the first kiss should even be saved on the wedding day. In my personal convinction, I don't see that necesary, but I have high respects for those people, keeping everything to God until marriage, even the little things. And if I ever have a girlfriend like that, I will respect that and do the same. I want my relationships to be built on true love, which is communicaiton and emotion connection between a guy and a girl, nothing physical. Trust me, after both times that my ex-girlfriends broke up with me I felt guilty for any physical stuff that went on. And the first girlfriend, it was just holding hands! I just don't give away signs of affection, I only give it to those who I truly and deeply love. I wish everyone in my generation could do the same, but it seems not likely. So all I can do is pray. This past week I have been praying for those 7 girls and 2 guys. I have been praying that they cease their actions, turn back to God, and find true love. I have also been praying for their forgiveness. Then I pray the same for my generation in general. There's probably more people I know and am unaware of their sexual activity (for which I am glad, after all, ignorance is bliss) and I pray the same for them. Finally, I close my prayer by asking for strength to stay pure as long as God calls me to be and end with this line:

"May my virginity be an offering to you, O LORD, in place of those who decided it was not worth waiting."