11. Isn't Wasn't Ain't

 BACKGROUND:

Isn't Wasn't Ain't can technically be classified as ApologetiX's first album. From 1992 to 1994, Apologetix produced 4 "studio" (that "studio" was a hotel room) recorded cassettes and multiple live cassettes, both of which ApologetiX do not consider canon today. Of those 4 cassettes, only 2 became CDs: Isn't Wasn't Ain't and Radical History Tour. Since Isn't Wasn't Ain't is the older of the two, and ApologetiX don't recognize the rest of the cassettes in the canon, that technically makes Isn't Wasn't Ain't the oldest ApologetiX album. And to think it almost never became a CD! Yes, despite the fan outcry to release all their cassettes on CD, ApologetiX held back, with the exception of Radical History Tour. That would all change in 2003, on ApologetiX's 10th anniversary. In order to celebrate their 10th birthday, ApologetiX offered to the fan club Isn't Wasn't Ain't on CD. It sold like hot cakes. In fact, it sold so well, when ApologetiX turned 12, they re-released a director's cut of Isn't Wasn't Ain't, which added 2 mores songs that was on the cassette but not on the CD and another 2 songs that never made it when Radical History Tour transferred from cassette to CD.

TITLE:

The album gets it title from the open track on the album. That first tracks talks about thinks people believe that cannot be found in the Bible. This track does indeed set the tone for the rest of album. For the rest of the album, ApologetiX devotes itself to teaching its audience what the Bible has to say. Therefore, Isn't Wasn't Ain't makes the most sense for the introductory track to the album and the name for the album.

CRITIQUE:

Before I dive deep into the critique, let me clarify something, which may affect this critique. I personally own the director's cut of Isn't Wasn't Ain't. Therefore, this critique will consider that specific version, which means it counts the 2 parodies on the cassette that did not make it to the first edition of the CD in 2003 and the 2 spoofs from Radical History Tour that did not make the transition from cassette to CD.

In the album description and his journal, lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson vehemently confesses over and over that he knows that the recordings of these parodies are not good and not stellar. Yes, these recordings sound rough, especially in comparison to their most reason studio recordings. I would argue, however, that they are not bad either. Considering ApologetiX, at this time, was just beginning, they did their best with what they had, as little as that may have been. Of course, they would get better with time, as so many do, but getting better doesn't imply that the beginning was bad. Same goes for J.'s lyric writing. Yes, he gets better as the years go by and he learns more about the Bible, but that does not mean the earlier spoofs had bad lyrics. They are still all theologically sound. For this reason (the fact that the instrumentals and lyrics are not bad), this is why when the songs on the album were re-released on other albums, whether as a studio recorded album or a live album, I said it wasn't necessary. All the tracks on this album sufficiently communicate biblical truths while performing adequate music. Don't worry, though, if you really wanted the best top-not performance, a majority, if not most, of these tracks appear on future albums.

Isn't Wasn't Ain't does well with variety in terms of musical decades. It has songs from the 60's, 70's and 80's, even 1 90's song that came out a mere 2 years before this album. Isn't Wasn't Ain't does not do well with musical genre, as most of these songs fall under either classic rock or oldies rock 'n' roll, but that's OK because ApologetiX makes themselves out to be a Christian rock band, even if that's a Christian rock parody band. The problem when it comes to lack of variety has to do with the original artists. Typically, an original artist only appears once per ApologetiX, and in some rare instance, twice, but no more. Isn't Wasn't Ain't has 3 Beatles songs, 3 Doobie Brothers songs, 3 Guns 'N' Roses songs and 2 Led Zepplin songs. Yes, a majority of this album comes from 4 bands. If you don't like any of these 4 bands, you may not like this ApologetiX album. Fortunately, ApologetiX would learn in future years, so this never happens again.

As mentioned in a previous ranking blog post, I will not go over every song, due to the albums getting longer, but I will highlight some tracks. I have a special rule for Isn't Wasn't Ain't, though. I will not go over parodies that get a re-recording later on in ApologetiX history. This is includes everything from studio recorded albums to live albums to compilation albums, everything from better recording of the instrumentals to completely rewriting the parody (which includes the headlining parody from which this album got its name). I will only go over the spoofs that are still exclusive to this album, so anybody who has not get gotten this album can consider purchasing it in the future.

"God I Like About You" (parody of "What I Like About You" by The Romantics") is begging to be spoofed into a Yahweh-worshipping praise song. In fact, this is so true, J. even keeps the first few lines of the original song in this parody. This is a very affectionate and emotion song, as the singer pours out his heart recognizing how much God loves him and how much he should return God's love. J. admits he probably improvised on the spot the titles for God that follow "That's what I like about you." They fit pretty well. Good thing the Holy Spirit put Isaiah 9:6 in his head!

"Matthew 9" (parody of "I Feel Fine" by The Beatles) is more like Matthew 9:9-13, as it retells Jesus calling the tax collector Levi to make him the disciple Matthew. It kind of sort of works. The opening stanza communicates the Bible story the most, but from there on, it just sounds generic. The only thing that traces it back to Matthew is the fact that Matthew is an author to a Gospel.

"Mrs. Protestant" (parody of "Mrs. Robinson" by Simon and Garfunkel) is just a bunch of Bible verses put to the tune of "Mrs. Robinson." More specifically, those verses are Romans 8:1, 8:10, 10:9 and 10:13, as well as John 3:16. If you ever need or want to memorize these Bible verses, ApologetiX provided the tune for them! At first, I was a little baffled when it came to the title of the song. Was it called "Mrs. Protestant" because that sounded the closest to "Mrs. Robinson"? J. explains in his journal that the title was used to address American Christians, a majority of which are Protestant. J. also goes on to say in his journal that this song was begging to be parodied when it has the line "Jesus will love you more than you will know. I couldn't agree more. I wish, however, J. could have figured out a way to keep that line in there as is. J. did say in his journal that he has rewritten the lyrics for this parody, so we may get a re-recording of this spoof in the future.

"Love (Ain't Nothing)" (parody of "Long Train Runnin'" by the Doobie Brothers) was also just asking to be turned into a spoof, with its repeated phrase "Without love." ApologetiX take that phrase and apply Biblical truth from 1 Corinthians 13. The first verse begins with the beginning of 1 Corinthians 13. Without love, all the sign gifts lose meaning. The second verse jumps to the last verse of 1 Corinthians 13. Love, hope and faith abide, but the one that abides the longest is love, so without, a person is nothing. The rest of the song covers the remaining parts of 1 Corinthians 13, which describe the attributes of love. If you don't like "Long Train Runnin' specifically or The Doobie Brothers generally, you have other options for 1 Corinthians 13, such as "Corinthians" (parody of "In the End" by Linkin Park) on Grace Period or "Brash, Impulsive" (parody of "Brass in Pocket" by The Pretenders) on Doves in Snakes' Clothing, but I think "Love Ain't Nothing" captures 1 Corinthians 13 the best. It's a shame this track didn't close out Isn't Wasn't Ain't because then the album would open and close on a song title with "ain't" in it!

FAVORITE SONG: "David and Goliath" (parody of "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles)

I will admit I might like this song because my high school English teacher played "Paperback Writer" over and over again (go figure), but this is still a quality parody. "David and Goliath" (parody of "Paperback Writer" by the Beatles) retells the story of 1 Samuel 17. ApologetiX must love this story, for it will appear near the top of their next album, too! ApologetiX faithfully retells the story, but the music does not faithfully retell the Beatles hit. Yes, you can make out the melody and the rhythm, but not the singing. J. Jackson admits up front they knew they could not hit the Beatles harmonization, so they didn't even bother to try. Instead, they took a more comedic route by overexaggering the harmony. I still love this song, and I still get excited when it appears in my ApologetiX shuffled playlist.

FINAL VERDICT: 11th

While Isn't Wasn't Ain't is rough and tough at some points, it is by no means bad. ApologetiX did the best they could as a band in its early years. After all these years, the album still has some quality parodies. Even if you prefer the rewrites and re-recordings on future albums, some tracks on this album have not gotten that honor, so purchasing this album still has some value. Once you get pass that rough and tough recording, you'll be both worshipping and learning about the Lord, just as you would with any other ApologetiX album.

11. Isn't Wasn't Ain't
12. Hot Potato Soup
13. Recovery
14. Future Tense
15. Handheld Messiah
16. Apoplectic
17. You Can't Say Euphrates with the 80's
18. Music Is as Music Does
19. Play Nice
20. Easter Standard Time
21. Singles Group
22. Loaded 45's
23. Unconditional Releases
24. New and Used Hits
25. The Boys Aren't Backing Down
26. Chosen Ones
27. 20:20 Vision
28. Hits: The Road
29. Soundproof
30. Apol-acoustiX

12. Hot Potato Soup

 BACKGROUND:

In a way, Hot Potato Soup is a spiritual sequel or successor to Ticked! For the album Ticked!, many of the parodies addressed controversial issues current to the day. Likewise, the spoofs on Hot Potato Soup addresses the controversial topics of its day. Hot Potato Soup consists of 15 parodies, which span 4 musical decades and at least 6 musical genres. While some songs are the typical ApolgetiX retelling Bible stories, many of them give theological apologetics (see what I did there?) to how Christians should live in the world when faced with controversial subjects.

TITLE:

A figurative name for a hot topic is a hot potato. Since this album converses about multiple hot potato topics, Hot Potato Soup fits because a hot potato soup probably has a lot of potatoes in it. I like this album title. It communicates the message of the title without having to go into a fancy wordplay. The album cover also fits well with the album, as it has the classic Campbell soup label right dead center on the front. ApologetiX let fans vote if they wanted the Andy Warhol take on the Campbell soup can. I voted no, and apparently, a majority of the fans voted no, too.

CRITIQUE:

Hallejuah, Hot Potato Soup has 15 tracks! I never thought I would say that. With Future Tense and Recovery only having 12 tracks apiece, it looked like the future of ApologetiX's studio recorded albums would be limited to 12 tracks, and only live albums, like The Boys Aren't Backing Down and Soundproof would have 18 tracks. Well, thanks to Hot Potato Soup, as well as Wise Up and Rock, hope still existed that ApologetiX studio albums could have 15 or more tracks. Sadly, that hope would not last long, as ApologetiX studio albums would quickly revert back to 11-13 track per album. At this point, though, the buyer of Hot Potato Soup feels like he or she gets more bang for the buck.

Just like Future Tense, Hot Potato Soup kind of sort of serves as a time capsule, and as a bittersweet one as of matter of fact. While 11 of the tracks on Hot Potato Soup come from 20th century music, 3 of them come from 2010 and 1 comes from 2011. Those songs are 3 and 2 years old when ApologetiX released their versions. Therefore, those 4 songs total reflect the early 2010s. More importantly, though, are those 4 songs in relation to the entire ApologetiX library. During the 2010s decade, up to today (the 2020s decade), ApologetiX have only 5 parodies from the 2010s, and 4 of them appear on this album. Honestly, the fifth shouldn't even count because it's "The Sound of Sirens" (parody of "The Sound of Silence" by Disturbed), a 2015 heavy metal cover of 1964 soft rock Simon & Garfunkel song. The fact that Hot Potato Soup has the last 4 most modern parodies marks the end of an era. Prior to Hot Potato Soup, ApologetiX felt like that Christan rock parody band, in both classical rock and modern rock, even if they did prefer the classic rock. Now after this album, it feels like Apologetix is merely that Christian classic rock parody band, for better or for worse. In the album description for Ticked!, J. Jackson reveals that ApologetiX actually had to do research and studying to determined what modern rock songs would make good spoofs. It almost feels the band continued doing that research and studying up to Hot Potato Soup, and then gave up their research and studying. I get that cultural influences like Guitar Hero and RockBand opened up the new, younger generation to classic rock, but with Guitar Hero no longer existing and RockBand fading into obsecurity, ceasing to rewrite the lyrics to modern rock songs will alienate the new generations.

2 of those 3 2010s parodies appeared prior to Hot Potato Soup on the live album 20:20 Vision, with the third being "Weep Jeremiah" (parody of "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N Roses), which the original came out in 1987. In this instance, I am OK with all 3 tracks coming out again as studio recordings. So many of the new songs on previous live albums never had a studio recording released. I'm glad to see all 3 new spoofs from 20:20 Vision got a studio recording in Hot Potato Soup. They all needed the studio recording, some more than others. "For Just You" (parody of "Forget You" by Cee Lo Green) needed it the most. With the 20:20 Vision version, the mic for the lead singer sounds at the same level as the mic for the backup singers, sometimes resulting in the backup singers "ooohhh"s and "aaahhh"s drowning out J.'s singing. In Hot Potato Soup's studio recording, lead singing is clearly lead singing and backup singing is clearly backup singing. I really can't tell a difference in quality between J.'s home church's worship singers and the band members' daughters singing backup, so no loss in quality there. "Weep Jeremiah" (parody of "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N Roses) is the one that needed it the least. Honestly, when playing the 20:20 Vision version and the Hot Potato Soup version side-by-side, I can't tell the difference between the 2 versions without hearing the live clapping on 20:20 Vision. That's how good ApologetiX did on the first live attempt.

As stated in the background, Hot Potato Soup reflects Ticked! because it addresses the hot topics of the day. Indeed, a lot of the songs on Hot Potato Soup address controversial topics of modern times, even the opening track! "Barroom Hitz" (parody of "Ballroom Blitz" by Sweet) sounds like it will be just a typical introduction song for the band, which it does rightfully so, but it goes on to defend the band for rewriting the songs into parodies instead of writing something original. "Puffed Up Cliques" (parody of Pumped Up Kids" by Foster the People) exposes the evil of cliques, which in part cause the root of bullying. Lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson could have taken the easy way out by turning "Two Princes" by Spin Doctors into "Two Pregnant," retelling the story of how Elizabeth and Mary found themselves pregnant at the same time. Instead, J. Jackson tackles abortion for the first time by turning "Two Princes" into "Too Pregnant," and he does an excellent job doing so. Kudos also goes J. Jackson for tackling the hard issues of politics within the church in "You Got Another King Comin'" (parody of "You Got Another Thing Comin'" by Judas Priest. The parody helpfully reminds the Christian not to get too caught up who will be the next president because Jesus is always king. J. worried about how this would come across to American Christians, and he got overwhelmingly positive praise. I join in giving him praise. The most iffy topical song on this setlist is "Gimme Pre-Trib" (parody of "Gimme Three Steps" by Lynyrd Skynyrd). Whereas all the other parodies have this Christian versus worldly mentality, this spoof has a liberal Christian versus conservative Christian mentality. Not too many non-Christians discuss and debate the rapture. It's just interesting to take converse about a controversy within the church than an inside versus outside controversy. Even "Guard Your Candle" (parody of "Hard to Handle" by the Black Crowes) can be considered a hot potato topic song because it encourages Christian to shine the light of Jesus, even when nobody wants to see it. I would also add "God's Blood" (parody of "Hot Blooded" by Foreigner) becauses the spoof teaches that no one can remove the "gory" details of the atonement, as so many have tried, because the blood is necessary for atonement. Then again, that would be an internal conflict, not an external one.

While the highlight of Hot Potato Soup falls on the hot potato topical parodies, the spoofs retelling the Bible stories are pretty solid, too. "Do What David Did" (parody of "Do Wah Diddy Diddy" by Manfred Mann) pretty much sums of the entire message of the whole book of Samuel (Samuel in the original Hebrew was 1 scroll, not 2 books): do what David did, don't do what Saul did. "Weep Jeremiah" (parody of "Sweet Child O' Mine" by Guns N Roses) accurately surveys the whole book of Jeremiah. "Man on the Cross" (parody of the "Man on the Cross" by Alice in Chains) tells the crucifixion story from the point of view of the two criminals crucified next to Jesus, a part of the crucifixion not commonly talked about in churches. I especially love how they kept "Jesus Christ" in the refrain, yet they use it without speaking the Lord's name in vain. Talk about redeeming the song! Similarly, "Cemetery Came Alive" (parody of "Semi-Charmed Kind of Life" by Third Eye Blind) tells about another forgotten part of the crucifixion story: some people came back to life once Jesus died. Talk about foreshadowing. The parodies retelling the Bible stories are just as good as the spoofs teaching the correct theology for controversial topics.

FAVORITE SONG: "Lived the Day You Died" (parody of "Love the Way You Lie" by Eminem feat. Rihanna)

This parody definitely had to become a favorite because it is the epitome of ApologetiX redeeming songs. The original song is about a couple in an abusive relation, yet the song tries to pass it off as love. How offensive to the Lord our God to misrepresent love because he is love incarnate! J. Jackson totally turns it around. This spoof emphasizes that Jesus took on the abuse to prove how much he loves us. The first verse makes it apparent how much humanity doesn't deserve Jesus. The second verse makes it evident how much abuse and suffering Jesus went through on Good Friday. The chorus further highlights this message with its mention of myrrh, the gift from the wise men typically used for burial embalming, foreshadowing Jesus's death. This parody, not the original, gets true love! The question was whether to make this the favorite song on 20:20 Vision or Hot Potato Soup.  I know J. loves his oldest daughter very much, and I mean no offense to Janna, but Janna fails in comparison to Heather Haff. Heather knocks it out of the park, so much so that I thought that J. somehow got Rihanna to do backup singing on a parody of one her most famous songs. That leaned me towards 20:20 Vision. The only problem is, just like with "For Just You," the balance between the two singers. Whether it be technical difficulties or just the nature of a live concert, you can barely hear J., which is a shame because he crafted together lyrics both beautiful and brilliant. The whole point of redeeming the song is not how well the band can cover the song, but rather, how well the lyricist rewrites the lyrics and how well the lead singer raps/sings them. Therefore, I have to say that the Hot Potato Soup version is the better version over 20:20 Vision, and therefore, it gets the distinction of the best song on the album.

FINAL VERDICT: 12th.

Hot Potato Soup has variety. It has variety in musical decade, as the parodies cover from 1964 to 2011. It has variety in musical genre, as the spoofs at least come from 6 different musical genres. Sadly, this will really be the last of that great variety, as future albums will abandon the modern rock for more focus on classic rock. While the album has variety, it also has unity in the fact it covers hot potato topics of the day. Even the songs retelling Bible seem to have something to say. Both parodies retelling Bible stories and spoofs speaking out on theological topics come across as solid, well biblically defended. I only wish there was more than 15. I am glad, though, that 3 of those 15 songs are re-records of 20:20 Vision songs in studio, for all 3 deserved it. For these reasons, the album falls in 12th.

13. Recovery

 BACKGROUND:

For video gamers, 2009 is known as "The year with too many music video games." Both Guitar Hero and RockBand had grown greatly in popularity, and as a result, both Guitar Hero and RockBand released multiple games in that single year. Furthermore, a lot of video games and developers decided to take advantage of this music video game explosion by throwing their own music video game into the arena. Because of the music video game explosion, younger generations became familiar with the classic rock of older generation. ApologetiX took advantage of this. Previously, ApologetiX kept their albums balanced with classic rock and modern rock to appeal to both the older generations and the younger generations. Now with the new generations learning the classic rock of old generations, ApologetiX could dedicate an album to music they grew up on when they were younger. The album Recovery consists of 12 tracks all from the late 1970s, more specifically, from 1976 to 1979. The band also arranged the tracks in order of release date of the original.

TITLE:

Since ApologetiX intended to make this album a 70's album, they also decided to spoof a secular 70's album. Since it was the first time ApologetiX parodied an Electric Light Orchesta (ELO, for short) song, they also parodied an ELO album title. From ELO's Discover comes ApologetiX's Recover. Despite parodying an album title via rhyming, ApologetiX does have scriptural backing to it. A possible definition of the verb "recover" means "to save from loss and to restore to usefulness." Citing Ephesians 2:4&5 and Romans 11:11, ApologetiX reminds all Christians that Jesus recovered them through his death and resurrection. Now all Christians have been saved from loss and restored to usefulness. ApologetiX went all out spoofing ELO's Discovery, going as far as spoofing the album cover, too! Keith dresses exactly like the man on the cover of Discovery. To spoof in a way to have some fun with it, Keith holds a Simon Says. Of course, its name on front is not Simon, but rather, it's Peter, because Jesus changed Simon's name to Peter :) . Both the album title and the album cover communicate what to expect on the album.

CRITIQUE:

As the first album after Future Tense and the second album post-Karl, here is another album with only 12 tracks. 12 tracks as the average for album has set in as the new norm. Just like with Future Tense, it feels disappointing next to all the album previous to Chosen Ones because they each had 18-22 tracks. ApologetiX would bounce back with 2 albums with 18-19 tracks following Recovery, but that would come at the cost of trading in studio recordings for live recordings (that is, The Boys Aren't Backing Down and Soundproof, if you haven't caught on yet). Again, I imagine this might be in part due to the double work Bill Hubauer has to do playing both lead guitar and keys. Although I am not a fan of a low track count and overworking Bill, because Bill plays both lead guitar and keys, ApologetiX has picked an excellent setlist of 12 songs that equally utilize electric guitar and keys for both melody and rhythm. Let's take a look at that setlist.

"Keep Your Arms Steady" (parody of "Detroit Rock City" by KISS) was a much-welcomed parody. Up to this point in ApologetiX's career, the Exodus story was much underrepresented. Seriously, this is the 28th album, and in the 27 albums before, the only songs that come to mind are "YHWH" (parody of "YMCA" by The Village People) and "You Ain't Been Nothing Yet" (parody of "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman Turner Overdrive). Yes, I know that "Credence Thru Deepwater Survival" (parody of "Proud Mary" by Credence Clearwater Revival) mentions Moses parting the Red Sea, but that's more of a topical song than a song focusing on Exodus 14. This song covers neither the origin story of Moses nor the 10 plagues nor the first pass nor the crossing of the Red Sea. Instead, this track covers how Moses helped the Israelites win the battle against the Amalekites. It fits so well with the original song. Lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson just had to change "Get up" and "Get down" to "Hands up" and "Hands down" respectively to communicate the message the Israelites won when Moses held the staff in hand above his head, and the Israelites lost when he lowered the staff in his hands below his head. This parody is very faithful to the Bible story it tells.

J. Jackson, very familiar with the music he parodies, kept "We Will Walk Through" (parody of "We Will Rock You" by Queen) and "We're More than Champions" (parody of "We Are the Champions" by Queen), knowing these 2 songs are usually played back-to-back. Somebody might expect "We Will Walk Through" to be about how the ApologetiX parodies walk a person through the Bible, but rather, it teaches that God gives the power to do the impossible with tribulation arises, in order that we may give him the glory through testimony. While I think the former idea would have been the better idea, the latter idea works out very well. "We Will Rock Through" cleanly segues into "We're More Than Champions" very cleanly, especially in comparison to the anniversary medley. "We're More Than Champions" finds its basis in Romans 8:35-37. J. decides to translate ὑπερνικάω (upernikao) to "champions" instead of the traditional "conquers." J. commits no blasphemies or heresies here. The root of the Greek term comes from νικη (nike), meaning "victory." Therefore, ὑπερνικάω (upernikao) literally means "super victory" or "super victorious." I can't think of a better one-word term to describe the super victorious than champion! J.'s translation is more relevant to the modern-day Christian, too. Not too many Christians today take part in a conquering army, but they may have experienced a championship in a team. Besides the songs musically going together, I think the rewritten lyrics work together well, too. "We're More Than Champions" teaches that the Lord "will keep us on and strong and on and on." That's exactly what the Christian needs in hardships described in "We Will Walk Through." While I understand the band wanted to arrange the album in the order of release, I think these 2 songs would have been a strong start for the first 2 tracks of the album. They set the path that God gives both the characters of the Old and New Testament hardships, just like he gives modern-day Christians. In both instances, God gives them the strength through, so they became become super victorious.

For "Come. Whale. Away." (parody of "Come Sail Away" by Styx, not only does the song consists of all 4 chapters of Jonah, but the title itself contains all 4 chapters of Jonah! First, the word of the Lord comes to Jonah, and Jonah attempts to come to Tarshish. Second, the whale intercepts Jonah, where Jonah prays to the Lord. Third, once the whale vomits Jonah out onto dry land, Jonah is away to Nineveh. And yes, I know, and I imagine J. knows, that the monster of a fish that swallowed Jonah probably wasn't a whale, but whale rhymes with sail. This parody was meant to be because the keyboard sounds of the original almost sound like whale sounds. J. and Bill made sure their fans knew that by putting in actual whale sounds! Yes, they already had "Jonah Jonah" (parody of "Mony Mony" by Billy Idol), but that's OK. It all depends if you want your story of Jonah told me 70's prog rock or 80's alternative rock.

"Enemy Lines" (parody of "Ebony Eyes" by Bob Welch) is probably my least favorite song on the album, but that's more on Bob Welch and less on ApologetiX. This song retells the Bible story of David committing adultery Bathsheba and murdering Uriah. While I do not like this song, I appreciate that J. turns "Your eyes got" to "Ur-i-ah." It's almost like this spoof writes itself.

"Obadiah" (parody of "Hold The Line" by Toto) retells the Bible story of... well, Obadiah. ApologetiX already had a story about "Obadiah" on a cassette and a Rare Not Well Done rarity, but they did not like the quality of the song. Instead of re-recording it, which they would eventually do for Minor League, they wrote a new parody! Although it doesn't fit as neatly as going from "Your eyes got" to "Ur-i-ah" in "Ebony Eyes," it's neat how the name of Obadiah fits so snugly in "Hold the Line." I love how they say that Obadiah "wasn't a talky kind of guy" to communicate it's the shortest book in the Old Testament. The only problem with that is that the song focuses way too much on how the book is so short. If someone wants to learn more about the book of Obadiah, they will want to listen to "Obed-Edom Obadiah" (parody of “Ob-la-di, Ob-la-da” by The Beatles) on Minor League.

"Time for Me to Die" (parody of "Time for Me to Fly" by REO Speedwagon) sounds like it should be a spoof about Jesus predicting his death. Instead, the parody sings about Paul knowing his trip to Rome will eventually end up leading to his martyrdom. While I would have perferred the former idea, the latter idea works here. 2 Timothy Paul, the source of this spoof, is not typically touched on in church circles. J. has found a creative way to teach it here.

I never thought I would say this, but "So Render" (parody of "Surrender" by Cheap Track) should have been a live recording. I know, crazy? The original "Surrender" has a more famous live recording, which has a speaking intro. ApologetiX has copied this speaking into, but it is totally fabricated, with obviously fake crowd sounds. I can't believe I'm saying this, but they should have held this one off for The Boys Aren't Backing Down. While I have never seen the band perform this song live, I have seen videos of it, and they do just as a good of a job live as in the studio. If this song would have appeared on The Boys Aren't Backing Down instead of Recovery, it would have easily been my favorite song. As for song itself, again, I applaud J. for noticing how easily "Surrender" turns into "so render." It's like the song was begging to be rewritten to tell about how Jesus answered the Jewish religious leaders on the questions of taxes.

"Shovin' Crushin' Squeezin" (parody of "Lovin' Touchin' Squeezin') is nnother beautiful example of ApologetiX redeeming songs. The original song sings about a man who wants a lovin', touchin' squeezin' kind of relationship, or in short, a sexual relationship. It really robs relationships of love when it's all about sex. ApologetiX redeem this song by using it to teach how the crowds got so big and tightly packed around Jesus, they shoved, they crushed and they squeezed Jesus and the disciples, as found in Mark 5:21–31, 6:31–34; Luke 8:42. For his first time trying to imitate Journey lead singer Steve Perry, ApologetiX lead singer J. Jackson doesn't do too bad. From this point on, J. will only get better in future Journey spoofs.

"Not Some Old Fantasy" (parody of "Rock N Roll Fantasy" by Bad Company) is not just an ApologetiX song, but also an apologetics song (see what I did there?). The spoof comes prepared to give a defense to those who claim the Bible is a fantasy story, like fairy tales. In. J.'s journal, J. goes into great detail, in great lengths, why nobody can call the Bible a fantasy novel. Unfortunately, those defenses don't make it into the song. The song moreso encourages people to read the Bible, which is good, but it alone doesn't solve the problem of the people who read it like a fantasy novel. Inserting some of that defense would have helped with that.

"Don't Bring Me Cows" (parody of "Don't Bring Me Down" by Electric Light Orchestra) is that long awaited ELO spoof, which gave ApologetiX the idea to spoof the cover of the album. Just like "Don't Bring Me Down" closes out Discovery, "Don't Bring Me Cows" closes out Recovery. As crazy as this sounds, believe it or not, in this song, ApologetiX addresses an issues that Christians struggled with throughout the church age, even to today. Medieval Roman Catholics thought they could pay off the Lord with indulgences. Even some modern-day Christians think that if they put more tithes into the offering plate, God will look the other way from their worldly, sinful life. In this track, J. teaches that it didn't work back then, and it won't work now. On top of that, it is a nice touch to replace the "Gross"/"Bruce" sounds with cows mooing. 

That leaves...

FAVORITE SONG: "Hurry Home Wayward Son" ("Carry on Wayward Son" by Kansas)

There are a lot of wayward sons in the Bible, but the most famous one has to be the prodigal son in Luke 15. Again, this song was asking to be parodied this way. Someone would almost think the song's original lyrics don't need too much rework to communicate that message. While true, J. does rework the lyrics plenty, not only to make sure the parody accurately retells the parable found in Luke 15, but to also make sure the spoof communicates the moral of the story. Musically, Bill hits all 4 guitar solos (depending on how you count them), and his keyboards fill in nicely between the guitar section. Both J. Jackson, as lead singer, and Tom Milnes, as backup singer, hit the notes that Kansas originally sung, which is not always easy to do. While I will admit I may have bias for this song due to the Lord using the secular version to work through a problem I had in my college years, ApologetiX still nails this song, with both the instruments and the lyrics.

FINAL VERDICT: 13th

The album Recovey definitely has unity. It has unity in musical decade, as all these songs come from the late 1970s, more specifically, from 1976 to 1979. It has unity in musical genre, as all these tracks can be called classic rock (with a few falling under the subgenre of prog rock). That unity, though, hurts its outreach to its audience, both fans and non-fans. In order to love Recovery, you have to love 1970s classic rock. Those who do not will pass on this album. If the most important part of this album was that all the songs originated of the 70's, perhaps ApologetiX should have thrown in a disco song to give it that variety that will appeal to a wider mass. It also doesn't help it's a short album with only 12 tracks. Ultimately, I believe ApologetiX got it right in their album description where they say that Guitar Hero and RockBand give these parodies a wider appeal to older and younger generations. It would be foolish for the old and young alike to pass on this album.

(Author's Note: With only the top 12 songs, the top 40%, ahead of us, these albums will finally get longer. With longer albums, I do not have the time to go into detail with every single track. I will highly tracks of main importance, and of course, I will definitely continue with the favorite song. If you see me skip a song, it's not that it's a bad song, but rather, it's just not worth highlighting.)

14. Future Tense

 BACKGROUND: 

Future Tense was the ApologetiX album for 2008, the band's 15th album. Notably, it is the 1st album for the post-Karl-Messner ApologetiX. Bill Hubauer takes on the role of lead guitarist, as well as still contributing keys and backing vocals. The album consists of 12 tracks, with about an even mix of classic rock and modern rock.

TITLE:

This title is another good example of how ApologetiX uses beautiful wordplays for their titles. When people think of the phrase "future tense," they probably think of the verb tense used for defining actions that will happen in the future. While thinking about actions that may happen in the future, it can make people quite tense. According to these people, the future is tense, again, pointing back to the album title. To add another layer of wordplay, the album description goes from talking about tense to talking about tents, as Paul was a tentmaker on top of a minister. It's interesting that that the album description does not go on to say that Paul knew his future was not tents but ministering the kingdom of God. It does point out, though, how Paul used tents as an illustration to the gospel he preached, which probably came from his experience as a tent maker. While I applaud the creativity in the title's wordplay, I equally applaud how it comes together to communicate the overall message and themes of the album. Indeed, a majority, if not most, of the songs addresses present issues that might make the onlook of the future pretty tense. Even the songs retelling Bible stories give relevant application to the 21st century.

CRITIQUE:

I hate to sound mean and possibly pick on a wound that has scarred over, but for the first post-Karl album, it shows. This album only has 12 tracks on it. At this point in the band's history, the average album ranged from 18 tracks to 22 tracks (with the exception of Apol-acoustiX and Chosen Ones, but Chosen Ones might also be due to Karl's exit). With only 12 tracks, Future Tense seems to sell short of what the previous albums offered. Also, considered what Karl did for the band prior to his leave: he played lead guitar (for both albums and concerts), he mixed & produced albums, he wrote the newsletter and he did PR pre-concert while the rest of the band warmed up for concert. With Karl gone, his spot needed filling. J. Jackson took on the newsletter and PR, and Bill Hubauer took on lead guitar and mixing & producing. albums. It was Karl himself who recommended that Bill Hubauer becomes the new lead guitarist. From context clues, however, I have always gotten the vibes that Bill Hubauer can do guitar, but his heart is with piano/keyboard. I can almost imagine J. and Karl presenting Bill the idea of playing lead guitar, and Bill replying with a melancholy, "Ok, fine, I guess I'll do it..." With both Bill and J. taking on more responsibility, writing, recording, mixing and producing 18-22 parodies must have been hard, so it was easier to just do 12. Still, with Karl's departure, it's hard not to feel like this was the beginning of the "downfall." It doesn't help that so many future albums will also only have 11-13 tracks on them.

Those 12 parodies, however, are solid. For me, Future Tense feels like a time capsule of sorts. Future Tense released in June 2008. For a majority of the tracks on this album, the original came out in either 2005 or 2006. Not only are all these spoofs brand new, but the original songs are still fairly new, too. In regard to the original songs, some these songs are still played on the radio regularly, while other songs faded into obscurity. Regarding the original band, some still perform today, while others have become one-hit wonders. On a personal level, these songs all came out during my high school years, and thus, in a way, these songs are "my music" or "my generation's music." I remember hearing them on the radio constantly while in high school. They give me nostalgia, for better or for worse. Hence why this album feels like a time capsule for me. In its original context, this album is truly a greatest hits album for its time...well, with the exception they are all parodies of the original.

"Turning a Little Seasick" (parody of "Dirty Little Secret" by All-American Rejects) is another song about Jesus calming the storm. After this parody, ApologetiX promised "No more songs about Jesus calming the storm!" I think they have kept their promise over 15 albums later, but I would encourage them not to hold onto it too tightly, for if the song allows it, go for it! This spoof takes it in a new direction. It uses the calming the storm story as an illustration to not panic or stress over what life brings because the Lord sees and hears us at all times.

"Land of Delusion" (parody of "Land of Confusion" by Genesis and Disturbed) is another ApologetiX which presents the problems in the world, and also supplies the solution of Jesus Christ, but is equally dismayed at so few people who will resolute to the perfect solution. In a way, it kind of sort of redeems the song. The original song already speaks of a world with too many problems, but it makes the grave mistake of turning to Superman or the next new generation. The spoof accurately updates the song to point out the world's problem is sin and that the only Savior will be Jesus, not Superman or a generation. ApologetiX credits both Genesis and Disturbed, and rightfully so, for they sound like a mix between both bands, like they went half-and-half on it.

"Stupid’s Stronghold/Reckless in America" (parody of “Cupid’s Chokehold/Breakfast in America” by Gym Class Heroes) is the epitome of time capsule feeling that Future Tense has. So many references to current events spanning 2005-2008 crammed into this spoof. It would not surprise me if most people can't remember what a majority of the lines reference. If anything, that alone should teach Christians not too caught up in the hype of current events, for in the words of Solomon in Ecclesiastes, nothing new is under the sun and it will pass away like a vapor (the Hebrew term translated as "vanity" or "meaningless" in Ecclesiates comes from the root word meaning "vapor"). Still, lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson gets kudos for jam packing so many pop culture reference into 1 song. The more pop cultural references, the more meaning this song has.

"Miss Martha" (parody of "Miss Murder" by AFI) is one of ApologetiX's classic Bible story retellings. This one covers the story of Mary and Martha, as told in Luke 10:38-42. The spoof is humorous in the sense of matching the Bible story with the music genre. The original band, AFI, falls very much under the category of emo. Therefore, it naturally has a screamo part in the song, more specifically, the bridge. J. Jackson designed this parody to tell the story of Mary and Martha from Martha's point of view. It's kind of funny hearing Martha sing screamo about how much her sister won't help her, especially with lines like "Well, these dishes aren't going to do themselves, and the silverware could use some polish." Apparently according to J.'s journal, J. had problems first nailing that screamo bridge, so much so that Bill secretly turned it into a bloopers reel. ApologetiX should totally released that ;) . Future Tense came out shortly after the video game Guitar Hero 3 came out, so this parody triggers some nostalgia for me. I remember singing ApologetiX lyrics while playing the song on the game.

"Iraq & Iran" (parody of "Jack & Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp) is an interesting way to retell how the events Daniel prophesied in the book of Daniel unfolded. It rightfully talks about the history of the Babylonians, Persians, Greek and Romans. The moral of the story is that kingdoms come and kingdoms go, but God knows all, and so his kingdom will remain forever. The closing line "You American kids do your best to understand" serves as a warning to the next generation of Americans they they are not immune to the same fate as Babylon, Persia, Greece and Rome.

"Transplants" (parody of "Dance Dance" by Fall Out Boy) is another good example of a song redeemed right. The original "Dance Dance" is a typical teen love song, albeit with a emo take on it. "Transplants" is concerned about humans loving God and loving each other as God intended love to be. The only way to do that is with a new heart. "Transplants" beautifully combines Jeremiah 17:9 with Ezekiel 36:26.

"The Tablecloth (Peter's Vision)" (parody of "Over My Head (Cable Car)" by The Fray) is a Bible story spoof, this time from Acts 10. It is very faithful to both telling the Bible story and communicating the theological message. Just like God making all animals clean, he makes all humans clean, and they all deserve to hear the gospel message.

Next up on the album is 3 consecutive songs about Christmas: "Bethlehem Boy" (parody of "My Best Friend's Girl" by The Cars), "Tip from an Angel" (parody of "Lips of an Angel" by Hinder) and "Try Micah" (parody of "Drive My Car" by the Beatles). This does not do the album favors in terms of variety. The album is already limited in variety when it comes to musical decade and musical genre. Having 3 tracks tell the same story (even if from different points of view) is repetitive and redundant. I'm guessing ApologetiX didn't have in mind a Christmas CD (5 years between Future Tense and Handheld Messiah), for these would have been a great addition to Handheld Messiah. Naturally, they all made ApologetiX Classics - Christmas. What I like most about all 3 parodies is how they redeem the original. "My Best Friend's Girl" has the singer lusting after his ex-girlfriend, who is now with his best friend. "Lips of Angel" has the singer telling his ex-girlfriend how much he misses her, despite the fact he's moved on to a new girlfriend. In "Drive My Car," a girl tells the Beatles she plans to become a famous movie star, but the Beatles tell her that she can becomes famous faster by "driving their car," an innuendo for sleeping with them. All these songs get redemption by telling how the loving God did the ultimate act of love by sending his son, Jesus, to die for our sins and rise again, thus defeating, sin and death. Talk about redemption!

The album concludes with "Animals I Have Begun" (parody of "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace). Another Bible story song, this time retelling the need for Adam to have a helper, Eve, to help him name all the animals. Some of the lines on this spoof would not age well with the current state of political correctness, but J. assures his audience in his journal that these lines are all out of jest. In fact, it's quite funny that Adam goes from generally asking for some help to name the animals to demanding specifics this helper must have. The humor comes from the fact that, even today, people say they are not picky in choosing their spouse, yet they have a long list of dos and don'ts. I also appreciate the line "We'll grab a bite to eat," foreshadowing the fall in Genesis 3.

We got 1 last song to talk about because that leaves...

FAVORITE SONG: "More That a Healing" (parody of "More Than a Feeling" by Boston)

Go figure that the album that a majority of "my songs" or "my generation's songs," I choose the song originally from 1976, which is definitely in the minority on the album. In fact, the only song older is "Try Micah" (parody of "Drive My Car" by The Beatles). I appreciate how the parody teaches that salvation is more than just a plain old regular healing. It does so much more. I also like how J. has worked on his vocal capabilities to bring us the best possible rendition of this song. I know these notes aren't the easiest to hit, but J. does it every time.

FINAL VERDICT: 14th

With the departure of Karl Messner comes the departure of a lot of things. No longer will albums have 18-22 tracks, but now, albums will have 11-13 tracks. No longer will all albums have brand new, studio recorded albums. Studio recorded albums will compete with live albums and singles compilations. As the first album post-Karl, Future Tense makes this changeover feel very real, even though it will eventually become the norm. It does not help either that this album lacks variety. It lacks variety in music decade, as a majority of parodies come from 2005 & 2006. It lacks variety in genre, as all the songs fall under the genre of rock, with no representation from country, disco, pop or rap. With a major of the songs discussing how fallen this world is, and 3 songs conversing about Christmas, Bible variety lacks here, too. What Future Tense lacks in variety it makes up in unity. While the albums lacks variety in biblical and theological themes, it unifies by agreeing the future might looks tense, but Jesus is still the answer. Yes,  the album only has rock on it, but the rock here covers several rock subgenres, including classic rock, punk rock, emo rock, pop rock and even rap rock. Most importantly, even though a majority of the parodies originated in either 2005 or 2006, which might push away older fans, it appeals to younger fans, which might in turn create new fans. New fans is exactly what this band needed in a post-Karl time, when ApologetiX's outlook on the future was tense.

15. Handheld Messiah

 BACKGROUND:

ApologetiX (especially bassist Keith Haynie) always had a love for Christmas. Well, by 2013, lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson had written enough parodies on the birth of Jesus to fill an album. Actually, in total, ApologetiX had enough spoofs in their library to fill 2 albums! The already recorded parodies went onto a new classic compilation album, which would be called ApologetiX Classics - Christmas. The brand new spoofs would go on a brand new album, which would be named Handheld Messiah.

TITLE:

The title Handheld Messiah sounds very close to Handel's Messiah, an orchestral piece famously played around Christmastime. It's the handheld part comes in because Jesus, the Messiah, as a baby, could be held in somebody's hands, hence he's a handheld messiah. Although probably not intended, I also think the title is very fitting because, by 2013, music had become very handheld with smartphones and MP3 players, even more than they were with a portable CD player or a cassette Walkman. Because of modern technical, you can listen to Handel's Messiah and Handheld Messiah with a handheld music device. Whether that last part was intended or not, the wordplay still makes this an excellent title.

CRITIQUE:

Handheld Messiah holds a special place in my heart. Handheld Messiah is the last album that was not a compilation of singles. All 11 tracks on this album were brand new and never released at the time this album came out in November 2013 (with some exception). All 11 tracks were recorded in studio, with no live tracks or previously recorded tracks. In a way, because of all these factors, Handheld Messiah, in my opinion is the last "good" album. Don't get me wrong, I don't hate or dislike any ApologetiX albums. I'm just saying that if I ranked all ApologetiX albums out to date (still excluding the ApologetiX Classics compilation albums), my top 15 for ranking the first 30 albums would be the same as my ranking of all ApologetiX albums, including Handheld Messiah at 15th. Oh, also this album holds a special place in my heart because the last ApologetiX concert I went to was in October 2015, and since it was fairly close to Christmas, the band played a lot of Christmas songs, and since Handheld Messiah was their most recent Christmas album, they did a lot of songs from this album. They performed them so beautifully live that I picked up this very album at that very concert.

Handheld Messiah consists of 11 tracks, which of course is very low compared their earlier albums of 18-22 tracks, but it is also low in comparison to later album, which had 12 or 13 tracks on them. It could be a matter of 11 parodies is all they had for the album and that's that. At least they didn't go the same route as Easter Standard Time by putting onto Handheld Messiah a third brand new parodies, a third re-recorded older parodies and a third compiled recent parodies.

With a name such Handheld Messiah, the theological theme of messiah must be at the forefront. Sure enough, in Handheld Messiah, the theme of messiah is indeed at the forefront. The album opens with "Messiah" (parody of "Desire" by U2), and it closes with "We Didn't Start Messiah" (parody of "We Didn't Start the Fire" by Billy Joel). Despite both songs having messiah in the title, each touches a different part of messiah theology. The parody "Messiah" sings about how the Jews in the 1st century A.D. anticipated the coming of the messiah. The Old Testament prophet foretold of it, and during the time conquest of the Romans, he could not have come at a better time. The spoof "We Didn't Start Messiah" sings about how the concept of Messiah did not start with the Jews, with the Israelites or with the Hebrews, but rather, it started with humanity. In this song, ApologetiX walks their audience through Genesis and Exodus to prove such a statement. Personally, I would have preferred the song surveying all the Old Testament for messiah, similar to how the original "We Didn't Start the Fire" surveyed recent history. J. in his journal said he did try, but there was already enough in Genesis and Exodus, so that's fair. Musically, both tracks are impressive, too. I especially love Tom Milnes's harmonica playing in "Messiah." Both of these songs had strong contention for the favorite song. In fact, if I had to rank all the songs in this album, "Messiah" and "We Didn't Start Messiah" would rank 5th and 4th respectively. Indeed, these 2 songs are definitely a strong beginning and end to the album.

"Virgin" (parody of "Urgent" by Foreigner) is the only re-recorded song on the album, originally appearing on Radical History Tour. If you read J.'s journal, he sounds outright embarrassed by this song. His embarrassment becomes evident in comparing the lyrics between the 1994 version and the 2013 version. In his journal, he jokes that the only words remaining from the original in the 2013 version is "virgin" and "snake." While the lyrics get an overhaul, the original message still remains the same. Both sets of lyrics relay the importance of virgin birth from both the original sin and Isaiah 7:14. Therefore, I do not feel like the rewrite of the parody lyrics was needed. If the embarrassment came from the instrumental parts, however, that I can understand. The Radical History Tour version is missing the sax, especially for the solo, which the Handheld Messiah version definitely has. The Radical History Tour version also seems to be absent of keys, which the Handheld Messiah version also has. The guitar part sounds much cleaner in Handheld Messiah than in Radical History Tour. While I would have preferred 11 brand new, never released parodies for Handheld Messiah, Handheld Messiah gives a new and improved take on "Virgin," so I will give it a pass.

"Cut Rate Motel" (parody of "Heartbreak Hotel" by Elvis Presley) covers how Joseph and Mary had a hard time finding a place for Jesus to be born. Basically, it tells the same story as "Hotel Can't Afford Ya" (parody of "Hotel California" by The Eagles). It's all preference of which music you like better. To paraphrase the words of J. in his journal, if "Hotel Can't Afford Ya" is not old enough for you, then you'll love "Cut Rate Motel." Personally, I love "Cut Rate Motel" for the impossible piano work of Chris Von Bartheld. Tom Tincha's guitar playing is pretty solid, too!

"Mary's Got a Son" (parody of "Janie's Got a Gun" by Aerosmith) is a wonderful example of ApologetiX redeeming a song. The original "Janie's Got a Gun" is about a girl who has murdered her father after her father abused her. The spoof "Mary's Got a Son" is about how Mary and Joseph desperately try to save Jesus from abusive Herod. The latter I can sing along with as a Christian, but the former I cannot. Thank you, ApologetiX, for giving me a version of the song I can consciously sing. You also do a good job of recreating the orchestral sound of the original.

According to J.'s journal, "One Night in Bethlehem" (parody of "One Night in Bangkok" by Murray Head) was the last song to be written and recorded for Handheld Messiah, down to the fact he was still writing and rewriting the spoof lyrics while driving to the recording studio. Also, according to his journal, he got the idea to parody this song from a DJ who thought his voice sounded like Murray Head. Well, he wasn't lying. This spoof sounds just like the original, in both the instrumental and the rapping/singing combo going on here. More importantly, I like the lyrics. I love how this song points out how strange it was for the Messiah to be born in Bethlehem. Yeah, it was prophesied in Micah 5:2, but besides that, nothing exciting happened there. David was born there, Ruth & Boaz lived there, Rachel died there. That's it. Yet God was about take that little town and make it very important with such an important gift to the world. This track was definitely in the running for favorite song. While it fell out of contention, it definitely makes the top 3.

"Excuse Me, Pal, It's Christmastime" (parody of "Purple Haze" by Jimi Hendrix) takes the Christmas theme in a totally different direction. This spoof explains how non-Christians want to take the Christ out of Christmas. This song has a very interesting backstory. Although starting in 2010, J. got spurred on more in 2011, when an atheist group from Wisconsin tried to sue his local town for putting a Nativity out in front of the city hall. With this context, anybody can understand the lyrics of the second verse. I like more, however, when the second verse gets paired with the first. Non-Christians want to remove Christ from Christmas, yet if their employer removed their paid vacation, they would be just as offended. The readings of John 15 and Psalm 2 are a nice addition to the track, and they do not interfere with the guitar solos in the middle and at the end.

"Nice Iced Pavement" (parody of "Ice Ice Baby" by Vanilla Ice) also takes the Christmas theme in a totally different direction. Instead of telling the Nativity story, "Nice Iced Payment" tells a story about a Christmas shopper who finds himself stranded due to the winter weather mix. What seems like a fun/silly paraody in the beginning ends to up to have a deep message. Don't let the busyness Christmas season stress you out. Instead, let Jesus change your attitude! Fun fact: the line "Triple A checks in but I think he’s not comin'" is inaccurate. Triple A only covers if your car breaks down for mechanical issues; it will not help you due to weather-related issues. Yes, I do know this from personal experience. Once again, this song was in the running for the favorite song, but it too fell out of content, but it would definitely make the top 3 favorite songs.

J. got the idea for "Wise Men Still" (parody of "Can't Help Falling in Love" by Elvis Presley) from the famous bumper sticker that says, "Wise Men Still Seek Him." While the song begins like it is merely retelling the story of the wise men visiting the baby Jesus, it transitions to calling a wise man as somebody surrenders everything, from talents to sins, to Jesus. In concert, ApologetiX have used this as an invitation song, and it does indeed work well as an invitation song. That "slow dance" feel allows the fan to calm down and reflect on what the song has to say, which is very important for the person who has not accepted Christ.

I did skip over 2 songs. The one song I skipped over because I don't like the original song. It just didn't feel right to judge ApologetiX's parody for something I do not like about the original song/band. The other song I skipped over is because it's my favorite song :)

FAVORITE SONG: "Christ in the Stable" (parody of "Cat's in the Cradle" by Harry Chaplin)

This song leaves a stronger impact if you know the original song. The original song tells a story of a father who never never makes time for his son when his son is young. When his son becomes an adult, he never makes time for his elderly father. Harry Chapin's song concludes, "My son turned out just like me." The ApologetiX's version is from Joseph's point of view. As he watches Jesus grows up, Joseph realizes how special Jesus is. The ApologetiX's version then concludes, "My Son turned out just like thee [Lord]" Not only does this song well explain both Jesus as God and man, but it also is an encouragement to fathers everywhere to raise a godly son. I got to hear this song at my last ApologetiX concert. When they got to the end, the entire audience gave ApologetiX a standing ovation. Yeah, sure, it just might be that crescendo at the end, which gets people to their feet, but it really is a good conclusion. Another good example of ApologetiX redeeming a song!

FINAL VERDICT: 15th.

Handheld Messiah is what Easter Standard Time should have been. It is 11 brand new, never released, fresh parodies covering a certain time from the life of Jesus. It is not ruined by reusing recently recorded spoofs, live spoofs and re-recording very old spoofs (I am being kind enough to not count "Virgin" because of the impressive improvement of the song). The album not only covers the Nativity story from different point of views, it also converses about the right attitude to have about Christmas in modern times. Time and time again, the tracks on this album redeem the original song, so the Christian can sing along with a guilty conscience. All the benefits come at a cost, though. Because ApologetiX limited themselves to just brand new and never released parodies (with the exception of "Virgin"), the album could only give 11 tracks. While the overhaul on "Virgin" was worthwhile, the message remains the same, which reminds the fan it is still a re-recording. Therefore, for the old fan, "Virgin" feels like 10 brand new and fresh parodies, with 1 re-recorded spoof. While this album for the most part has variety, having 2 Elvis songs takes the variety down a notch. Overall, a top-of-the-line Christmas album, even for a Christian parody band. Seriously, I wouldn't mind hearing all of the tracks on this album shuffled in with Christmas carols.

16. Apoplectic

 BACKGROUND:

ApologetiX considers Apoplectic a sequel or successor to Ticked! Now this isn't the first album to get that designation. Hot Potato Soup also got called called a follow-up to Ticked! Apoplectic deserves the designation even more, though. First and foremost, Apoplectic reflects Ticked! in tone. It addresses some of the hot topics modern Christians face, and they are not afraid to answer them with attitude. Second, Apoplectic reflects Ticked! in musical decade. Just like Ticked!, all parodies from Apoplectic come from the 90s. In fact, somebody could argue Apoplectic better represents the 90s more than Ticked, for Apoplectic covers from 1991 to 1998, and Ticked! only covers 1991 to 1996 (to be fair, though, Ticked! came out in 1997). Even more to the point, lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson states that he wrote all these parodies at the same time as Ticked! parodies (with the exception of "God Know Your Tried," since the original "Slide" came out in 1998), so even the rewritten lyrics come from the 90s! Third, Apoplectic reflects Ticked! in musical genre. Apoplectic has the same ratio of alternative rock, grundge and pop as Ticked! Fourth, Apoplectic reflects Ticked! because it spoofs the same artists. Alanis Morissette, Bush and Foo Fighters all make an appearance on both albums. Apoplectic is truly indeed the sequel or successor to Ticked!

TITLE:

The term "apoplectic" simply means "to be very ticked." How fitting for this album! Apoplectic is just more of Ticked!, thus it is very much like Ticked!, and thus it is very Ticked! I bet there is a lot of synonyms out there that mean "very ticked," but apoplectic is definitely the best one because it sounds similary close to the band name ApologetiX. While I don't talk about it much, the album cover fits the title. The album cover for Apoplectic  imitates the album cover for Nirvana's Nevermind, the most famous album to come out of the 90s. Even the cover reinforces the album, just like the title!

CRITIQUE:

ApologetiX counts Apoplectic as one of the 4 volumes of singles CDs, which is so ironic, for Apoplectic is very different from Singles Group, Laoded 45s and Unconditional Releases. For those 3 albums, they very much feel like a bunch of singles thrown onto a CD. For Apoplectic, all the songs share unity in musical era, musical genre and theological themes. If these 4 volumes are singles compilation, this is the best one. In fact, after these 4 volumes, ApologetiX would get better minded thinking about the singles individually and the albums as a whole. Even in comparison to those, Apoplectic may just the best one.

Apoplectic constists of 13 tracks, 1 more than the average "singles compilation" album! That alone is already worth celebrating! Of the 13 tracks, 8 parodies come from recently released singles (3 to be exact), and other 5 spoofs are brand new and never released. I have mixed feeling about this, and I will admit that my mixed feelings might be out of fear of coming across as a hypocrite, or at least contradicting myself. On one hand, I love the idea. The 5 brand new, never released spoofs give reason to buy the album, even if you already own the singles. On the other hand, I hate the idea. If a fan has already purchased those 3 singles, he or she will feel like he or she is purchasing duplicate songs. If the fan does not purchase the album, he or she misses out on 5 parodies. You can see my indecisive feelings here. Like I have said in the past, I didn't mind ApologetiX releasing album tracks earily as a download for pre-ordering an album. Perhaps it would have been better if the single was a free reward for pre-ordering the album. Maybe it would have been better if numbers were swapped, with the 8 brand new, never released spoofs and 5 parodies previously released.

As far as I know, the only re-recording on this album is "Proving My Religion" (parody of "Losing My Religion" by REM). This dates back to the ApologetiX's cassettes, and it also appears on the Rare Not Well Done rarities. Fortunately for me, somebody did upload this song to YouTube, so I got the opportunity to listen to it. This re-recording was definitely warranted. The sound quality is worse than Isn't Wasn't Ain't. While it is a re-recording, it's so old, I will allow it.

FAVORITE SONG: "One of Us Indeed" (parody of "One of Us" by Joan Osborne)

The change J. did the title says everything. Talk about redeeming a song! In original, Joan Osborne contemplates what it would be like if God was a human who wandered with humanity. Of course, Christians know that God actually did  walk with humans, and his name was Jesus. Christians don't have to ask "What if?" because Christians know "He did!" Not only does "One of Us Indeed" clearly established Jesus as God incarnate, it establishes Jesus as the Messiah, the suffering servant, the sacrificial lamb and the perfect human being. Musically speaking, Janna Jackson, daughter of J. Jackson continues to progressively improve, and this may be her best performance. J. also does a good job backing vocals, too. Like I said, the one addition of "indeed" makes all the difference, in the title and in the song. It is the emphasis that makes it absolutely true.

FINAL VERDICT: 16th

Apoplectic is the best volume of the singles CDs. It has the most songs of all the singles CDs. It has unity of an album, unified in music genre, unified in musical decade, unified in theological theme. It really does feel like an extension of Ticked! Unfortunately, it also falls short of Ticked! or any album for that matter. 13 tracks is too short for a full album, especially when their older albums contained 18-22 tracks. It may feel like even less, considering that 8 songs already were released as singles, and another 1 a re-release. Still all these parodies are solid, so solid it is worth purchasing again. I can only hope and pray that future ApologetiX albums are all like Apoplectic .

17. You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's

 BACKGROUND:

You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's is the 4th of 4 albums ApologetiX released in 2015. It contains 12 tracks, all of which were previously released as singles. The entire album consists of 80's music.

TITLE:

Eh, it works. The Euphrates part of the title reminds the hearer that these are biblical parodies. Lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson counts over 50 times the Euphrates appears in the Bible, but he must be using the Newer Internation Version (2011 edition), as the NASB, ESV, and NIV 1984 ed. all put the count in the 30s. J. Jackson also cites Wikipedia to explain how the Euphrates played a major role in Babylon's fall to Persia, prophesied in the Bible. The 80's part of the Bible reminds the listener that all the songs on this album come from the 80's musical decade. And yes, you do technically say "eighties" when pronoucning the word "Euphrates." It's not the most creative, but it works.

CRITIQUE:

Again, let me go briefly off on my rant why I don't like this approach of releasing singles and then releasing the singles on an album, so you understand my bias against. While I understand ApologetiX's attempt to earn more income, especially in financially struggling times, it really doesn't work. Those who already bought the singles won't waste their money buying the song again on a CD. For those wanting a CD, they will have to delay their patience even further, while their fellow fan gets to listen to the brand new songs as soon as possible. Furthermore, when a band compiles their songs for a new album, they carefully consider how the songs go together and relate. It determines everything from how the songs are arranged on the album to even if the songs make it to the album on the first place. With these "singles compilation" albums, it feels like these songs are just thrown on the album, like they said, "Alright, we got 12 songs, let's make album." It doesn't work like that. Now to be fair, once ApologetiX got past Unconditional Releases, they got better with that, carefully considering what singles to releasing, thinking ahead to the next possible album. Some were better, while others were worse.

You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's is one of the better ones. The uniting theme of all these parodies is that all came from songs composed in the 80's. The album title says so, the album description says so, just listening to these songs makes it obvious these spoofs all originated in the 80's. While not the most creative unifying theme, it works. I am a little hesistant to praise it too much, though. See, this is ApologetiX's 2nd album with the theme of 80's music, with the first one being Wise Up and Rock in 2011. It's just been 4 years, and fans got another 80's themed album. To make matters worse, ApologetiX will do this again with future albums (see From Hair to Eternity, Get Rich Quick, Never Before but Then Again and Apolog80x Back From the Future). It it didn't feel overdone back then, it does definitely feel overdone now! I will also pause here to talk about another factor about that unifying theme of 80's music in You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's. While the title is absolutely true about all the songs coming from the 80's, it is a little deceiving. While they are all 80's songs, they are all more specifically early 80's songs, spanning from 1980 to 1983. As a matter of fact, 2/3 of this album contains original songs originally released in 1982! Reading J.'s testimony, I discovered J. graduated high school in 1982. I imagine that J. identifies the music from 1980 to 1983 as "his music" or "his generation's music." I also imagine that's the reason why ApologetiX has 6 80's albums by their 30th anniversary. Still, this alienates some of the fans. Unless you're a diehard lover of 80's music, this album may turn you off. At least this album does not alienate fans due to preferences in music genre. Fans will country and new wave as much as they will find classic rock, hard rock and soft rock, so there's a little bit of everything for those fans. While no variety in musical decade, the variety for musical genre makes it up for it.

Again, let me go through the album track by track, culminating to my favorite song at the end. As always, if I leave a song out, it's because I'm not a fan of the song, not because of ApologetiX, but because I'm not a fan of original song from the original band either. It just doesn't seem fair to judge ApologetiX for something the original band did wrong.

"I Dealt with You" (parody of "I'll Melt with You" by Modern English) is a very interesting take on the parable of the merchant who found the pearl, but it works! Praise the Lord that J.'s oldest daughter Janna reminded J. that pearl rhymes with girl! The spoof captures the lesson of the parable. The kingdom of God is worth losing family and friends because of its great value.

"Could He Choose You?" (parody of "Goody Two Shoes" by Adam Ant) reminds the listener on how God choose us, not because of what we did, but what God's Son Jesus did for us. In a way, this spoof is very much redeeming the song. In the original song, Adam Ant sings about making fun of a person who is too concerned that other people think he or she is a good person, so Adam Ant does what he wants. According to the ApologetiX parody, whether people are good or bad all depends on whether they put their faith in Christ. Also, I just love Bill Hubauer's brass playing here.

In the spoof "Nicky" (parody of "Mickey" by Toni Basil), Nicky is short for Nicodemus. This is a classic Bible story spoof from the ApologetiX. It accurately retells the story found in John 3. This is probably the best of Janna Jackson's singing to date. She actually almost sounds like Toni Basil. Heather Jackson, Ever Tanner and Julie Tanner do an excellent job with the chanting part, too.

Oh look, it's "I Love Apostle Paul" (parody of "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" by Joan Jett and the Blackhearts) again.. again... again... again... again... Yes, if we count compilation albums, live albums, medleys and singles, this is the 6th time hearing this song: Spoofernatural, New & Used Hits (Live), ApologetiX Classics - Party, 20:20 Vision (medley), the single and You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's. Ok, I get that "I Love Rock 'N' Roll" was made famous by Joan Jett, a female singer, so ApologetiX would naturally want to a female singer to sing it. And don't get me wrong, Janna does an excellent job sonding like Joan Jett. But have you ever wondered why men can cover the song, and it sounds so natural? That's because the song was originally by the Arrows, an all-male band. J. sounded perfectly fine on Spoofernatural for this song. A 6th time for this song was really unnecessary. That might make this my least favorite song on the album.

"Strange Cat, but..." (parody of "Stray Cat Strut" by Stray Cats) is a testimony song of sorts. J. grabs ideas from his personally life, when people didn't want to hear his gospel message when he got saved. From his life experience, the listener can also not be afraid to share his or her faith, either by word or by deed. I like how J. uses cat analogies, even though "strange cat" is just a saying.

"Keep on Loving Ruth" (parody of "Keep on Loving You" by REO Speedwagon) is another classic example of an ApologetiX spoof retelling a Bible story. In this case, it is the story of Ruth. Now ApologetiX has already told the story of Ruth with "Naomi Gonna Be with Ruth" (parody "Only Wanna Be with You" by Hootie & The Blowfish). That song, however, came from Naomi's perspective, while this song comes from Boaz's point of view. That alone changes it up. Besides, if you rather listen to 80's rock tell the story of Ruth over a 90's pop song, then you'll appreciate "Keep on Loving Ruth" more than "Naomi Gonna Be with Ruth"

"Iran (So Far Away)" (parody of "I Ran (So Far Away)" by Flock of Seagulls) is not the first spoof from ApologetiX with Iran in the title. That would go to "Iraq & Iran" (parody "Jack and Diane" by John Cougar Mellencamp) on the album Future Tense. The songs do have similarities, though. Both songs allude to the fact that Iran now is the same nation as Ancient Persia. Both songs remind the listener that Iran/Persia (fun fact: the nation was always called Iran, it's the Greeks that renamed them Persia) is just a pawn in God's bigger plan, whether they acknowledge his son Jesus or not. If you think about, all J. simply did to the title was put a space in it, and from that, he created brand new lyrics. Kudos to Todd Waites and Wayne Bartley for adding all the sound effects to make it sound like the original. Oh, and if you haven't purchased the songbook, it's worth it just to read the ancedote about what happened when J. put the phrase "Iran donation" on Paypal :-P

"Anteater" (parody of "Maneater" by Hall & Oates) is another song about naming the animals. Yes, you heard me right - another song. That other song would be "Animals I Have Begun" (parody of "Animal I Have Become" by Three Days Grace). I think there's enough difference, though. "Anteater" has its focus on the animals, while "Animals I Have Begun" put those focus on creating Eve to help Adam name the animals. Again, which one you perfer depends on whether you like your 1980's rock telling the story or 2000's rock telling the story.

In "Faithless Love" (parody of "Tainted Love" by Soft Cell), J. laments on how political correctness, especially on social media, has created a fake love. Real love, on the other hand, comes from God, and that love must be presented the way the Bible teaches. It's a hard message to preach, but we all need to do it. Fun fact: Todd Waites does all the instrumentals here, which is fitting, due to the fact most sounds on the song (both original and parody) sound like they come merely from a keyboard.

"Separate Days (To Worship God)" (parody of "Separate Ways (Worlds Apart") by Journey) is not ApologetiX's first parody coming from Colossians 2:16. They have done a handful. What separates this song (no pun intended) is what part of the verse they use. "Tasty Plants" and "Keep Your Ham to Yourself" is about the food part of the verse. "Grinch Girl" and "O Holy Night (December 5 or 6 B.C.)" is about the holiday part of the verse. "Separate Days (To Worship God)" is about the Sabbath part of the verse. Just like all those other songs taught that no one should judge you based on the food you eat or the holidays you celebrate, this song teaches that nobody should judge you based off your choice of when to celebrate the Sabbath. It's not a topic that comes up often. I think more Christians debate what is considered work (and what is not) then when to remember the Sabbath. Still, as J.'s notes point out, some people still whole-heartedly argue for a certain day for the Sabbath, and this track clearly explains the meaning of Colossians 2:16.

That leaves...

FAVORITE SONG:  "Christ's Wedding" (parody of "White Wedding" by Billy Idol)

Although 12 had past since Dan Brown wrote The DaVinci Code and 9 years since the movie came out, Christians still speculated and debated if Jesus could or would have been married. In "Christ's Wedding" (parody of "White Wedding" by Billy Idol), J. Jackson gives an apologetic (see what I did there?) to answer that question. In this song, J. points out that not 1 woman is Christ's bride, but rather, all the church is Christ's bride. In essence, J. uses the speculation and debate to teach an important truth from the New Testament. The church likes to think of itself as the body of Christ or the building of Christ, but it tends to forget it's the bride of Christ, which consists of several believers, not just 1 woman. I also applaud this spoof for its redemption of the original. The original song is very vague, so it's open up to interpretation, but the general consensus is that the song is about Billy Idol's ex-girlfriend, who ran away to marry another man, despite being pregnant with Billy Idol's child. That's just the worst thing to sing about! Way to turn it around, ApologetiX, but teaching a theological truth with the song, instead or praising sin, like Billy Idol!

FINAL VERDICT: 17th.

Unlike so many albums before it, You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's actually has a clearly evident unifying theme, which is all music from the 80s. In a way, this album does feel like a greatest hits from the 80's. The only problem is that all those hits come from 1980 to 1983, 2/3 of which come from 1982, which doesn't really accurately represent the decade. What does represent the decade well is the musical genre variety on it. While at the time, an 80's album may have seem like a good idea, since it was only their 2nd one (not including compilation albums), now it just feels oversaturated with 6 (7 if you count the compilation album). You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's fails in comparison to Wise Up and Rock, the previous 80's album, because it has more songs. If choosing between You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's and Wise Up and Rock for your 80's fix, get Wise Up and Rock. If you already have Wise Up and Rock, and you're looking to spend money on your next Apologetix album, for the 80's lover, I would definitely recommend You Can't Say Euphrates Without the 80's.

18. Music Is as Music Does

 BACKGROUND:

Music Is as Music Does is the 2nd of 4 albums ApologetiX released in 2015. The album contains 12 tracks, all of which were previously released as singles. 10 of the tracks are brand new, while 2 of the tracks are re-recordings.

TITLE:

In the movie Forest Gump, Forest's mother famously says, "Stupid is as stupid does," which means that the action is ultimately what defines something as stupid or not. ApologetiX borrowed these words and that idea to title this album Music Is as Music Does. In essence, let the music speak for itself. In his journal, lyricist and lead singer J. Jackson turns around another famous quote to capture what he's trying to say: "You can't judge a book by its cover, but you can judge our 'covers' by the Book." Anyone reading the album description can tell J. has faced much criticism, and for those critics, he has an apologetic (see what I did there?). Quoting Luke 7:44, he reminds everybody that even the Bible says that a tree is to be judged by its fruits, or, an action is to be judged by its results. After hearing all the testimonies ApologetiX has received from its fans, it's hard not to acknowledge the good tree and the good fruit. J. goes on to counter the claims that rock n roll is from the devil, even if given new, Chrstian lyrics. J. reminds everyone that, just like people sin in what they say and do, so music can cause sin in what it says and does. Therefore, it only makes sense that lyrics rewritten into Christian lyrics would not be sinful. Overall, the title of the album is a creative and fun way for J. and ApologetiX to communicate his message.

CRITIQUE:

I don't mean to sound repetitive, but I do want to give a friendly reminder. Music Is as Music Does is ultimately a singles compilation album because all 12 parodies were originally released as singles. This sets up a lose-lose situation for the fans and band alike because fans who don't mind downloading the songs will not want the album when it comes out, and fans who want the album will have to delay their patience while other fans can enjoy the spoofs. I will acknowledge, though, that this CD feels more like an album and less like a singles collection because the album has a name, a theme, a message and some correlation between the tracks. You also get a little bit of variety in the music genre, which is reminiscent of older albums. Anyone can tell that ApologetiX had an album in mind when creating these singles, making sure they go together, not like a bunch of singles thrown together.

While Music Is as Music Does has a playful title, I have my doubts that it conveys the message of judging these covers by the Book or judging the tree by its fruit. The song that enraptures this theme and message the most is "Fight for Your Right to Parody" (parody of "(You Gotta) Fight for Your Right (to Party)" by Beastie Boys). Your heart goes out to the band as you listen to the lyrics, for it sounds like they face an equal amount of criticism from both Christians and non-Christians alike. Indeed, that does definitely capture the messing behind the album's title. Sadly, it's really the only track that does so. Even sadder, I wonder why this was the closing track. It should have been the opening track because it introduces what the band does. Heck, it would have made a great introductory track to a concert, too.

Alright, let get my annoyance out of the way: the re-recordings. "Be Like David Was" (parody of "Feel Like Makin' Love" by Bad Company) was originally on Isn't Wasn't Ain't. The Isn't Wasn't Ain't recording wasn't that bad. The readings from the Psalms (Psalms 34:1 103:1, 8:1 and 94:19, to be exact) was a nice addition, but it wasn't necessary. The lyrics didn't need the revamping either. If anything, I prefer the lyrics of the original (I don't like how the new version added "dude" and "stuff.") "Addicted to Christ" (parody of "Ticket to Ride" by the Beatles) originally appeared on the cassette Beatleg (Beatles bootleg) and was part of the Rare Not Well Done rarities downloads. I have never heard this version before, so I can't make an accurate comparison. Reading the lyrics, though, the 2015 version does have the better lyrics. I will give this one a pass. It's just that I would prefer to hear brand new parodies than hear re-recorded spoofs. This wouldn't be as noticeable on an album with 18-22 tracks, but on an album with 12 tracks, 2 re-recordings sticks out clearly.

As always, let me blitz through the rest of the album's setlist, culminating with my favorite song. If you see me skip over a song, it's because I don't like the song, not because of ApologetiX, but because of the original song performed by the original band. It's just seems unfair to judge ApologetiX on basis of the instrumental music composed by the original band.

With that in mind, it is ironic I start with "Come On, Heal the Boy" (parody of "Cum on Feel the Noize" by Quiet Riot). I say it's ironic because the original "Cum on Feel the Noize" was originally performed by Slade, but it was made famous by a cover from Quiet Riot. In his journal, lyricist and lead singer the J. Jackson said they went with making the song sound more like the Quiet Riot version over the Slade version because ApologetiX likes how the Quiet Riot version sounds more. I couldn't agree more, and I imagine a lot of people feel the same way. After all, there's a reason the Quiet Riot version went higher on the U.S. charts than the Slade version. The spoof talks about Jesus healing a boy with a demon that made the boy deaf and mute, as found in all 3 synoptic Gospels. This is a classic Bible story parody form ApologetiX, and it accurately retells the story.

Meanwhile, "Jesus and Moses" (parody of "Heat of the Moment" by Asia) is more of a theological spoof. Its main basis comes from Deuteronomy 18:18-19, although the parody brings in other Bible verses. The song explains Jesus the prophet better than Moses that Moses prophesied. The track also does a good job on comparing and contrasting the Old Testament and New Testament.

Going back to Bible story songs, "Sa-maria" (parody of "My Maria" by Brooks & Dunn) does an excellent job of combining the story of Jesus meeting the Samaritan woman at the well with the background information needed to understand the animosity between the Jews and Samaritans. My only criticism is that, unlike Aquila, there is no alternative pronounciation of Sa-maria, but I get that they did this to make it sound closer to the original song. It's saying a lot to say I like this song, for I am not a fan of country music at all. Somehow, however, ApologetiX got me to like this song and "Good News Bookie (parody of "Boot Scootin' Boogie" by Brooks & Dunn). ApologetiX, are you turning me into a Brooks & Dunn fan?

"Resist Him" (parody of "Rihannon" by Fleetwood Mac) reminds the listener how the devil tempts people to sin and how the Christian has the Holy Spirit to fit the sin. Fun fact: J. Jackson's only credit for this song is rewriting the lyrics. Janna Jackson sings lead vocals, and Tom Milnes sings backing vocals. Had me fooled. I could have sworn that was J. Jackson! Maybe I should just compliment Tom Milnes for his excellent job of backing vocals, lead guitar and bass.

"Pharaoh-noid" (parody of "Paranoid" by Black Sabbath) was a much-welcomed spoof. Up to this point in ApologetiX's career, the Exodus story was much underrepresented. Seriously, this is the 28th album, and in the 27 albums before, the only songs that come to mind are "YHWH" (parody of "YMCA" by The Village People) and "You Ain't Been Nothing Yet" (parody of "You Ain't Seen Nothing Yet" by Bachman Turner Overdrive). Yes, I know that "Credence Thru Deepwater Survival" (parody of "Proud Mary" by Credence Clearwater Revival) mentions Moses parting the Red Sea, but that's more of a topical song than a song focusing on Exodus 14. Just as important, no ApologetiX song every told the story of the ten plagues. In a way, this parody actually can teach somebody the order of the plagues. That leaves one more track...

FAVORITE SONG: "A Source with No Name" (parody of "A Horse with No Name" by America)

Again, a lot of these songs almost made the favorite sing (of course, the re-recordings didn't). I decided ultimately on "A Source with No Name." Not only does ApologetiX give a full survey on the book of Hebrews, but the band also even fills you in on some of the background information, like the debate on the authorship of the book. This has to be the one of the most, if not the most, scholarly spoof J. has written to date, if not ever. This parody just goes to show how much J. knows the Bible.

FINAL VERDICT: 18th

Even looking past the fact that this album is a singles compilation album, which is harder with this one because the background and title loosely tie all these parodies together, this album is way too short at just 12 tracks. To make matters worse, 2 of those tracks are re-recordings, so the fan only feels like he or she purchased 10 tracks. Personally, it doesn't help that I only like 9 tracks, and that even includes the re-recordings. Still, the parodies on this album are solid. They cover the 60s, 70s, 80s, and 1 song even covers the 90s. While most of these spoofs fall under the genre of classic rock, country, heavy metal, rap and pop all make an apperance. This album covers fans of most decades and most genres. Whether you like biblical parodies or theological parodies, this album covers both. While many other albums do a better job of uniting the singles together under a single theme, this album deserves recognition for doing an OK job.