I don't know why I am on here. I really don't want to talk about it. My feelings and emotions are all blurbed into one mess. It's like a giant yarn knot ball. You can't untie it, the only way the undo it is to cut it up. Then you have a bunch of little pieces of yarn that aren't of any use. I've composed "the pieces" right here, the pieces of thoughts on my feelings running my head. This "poem" (I use that term loosely) may not make any sense, or you may catch on easily. Like I said, I don't want to talk to anyone about it, nor do I want anyone to be making a deal about it or getting on my case about it. Please let it be

No, it can't be, it wasn't suppose to beIt's such a small difference, but a difference nonetheless
Why me? Why why why why me?!?!
It should have never ever happened
Dumb, stupid, moronic, egregious
Hyprocritcal: I said I wouldn't, but I did
Too fast, too little, too late
Inexcuseable, unacceptable, egregious
It almost seems impossible
My image, my repuation - destroyed, dismantled
I can't ever take it back
Does this make me any less?
Can I bounce back?What happens if I can't?
Should I just give up, or try again?
Eloi, eloi, lama sabbachnatha
How can one go from so good to so bad?
I wouldn't accept it from anyone else, and neither from me
Am I hurting the team?
It was the difference between the best and the worst
Am I possibly overexaggerating?
Did I give enough?Does it really matter?
It was a hard team
The little things made the difference
I knew to slow down, I knew to be happy with what was sent my way
But I missed what could have led to success
Was it greed? Pride? Arrogance?
Did I let my feelings get the best of me?
I did bad, but I also did good
And after all I have said and did
I have some good friends, I wish I could be a friend back
I deserve all the ridicule and trashing, I don't want to face up to it
I am number 1 in the team, they need me, I must step up for them
I must, no, need, no, WILL, do better

Like I said, I REALLY REALLY REALLY don't want to talk about it. I'm going stay off IM, email and the internet to help avoid it. I'll get over it....eventually. Give me a few more hours. But if you REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY need to talk to me, leave a comment saying the exact date and time you'll be online and say what you want to talk about, and why, and I'll consider talking to ya.

"I'll turn around to pick up the pieces." -Hoobastank